Tuesday, June 13, 2006

"Let me see that thong...."

This may be the first blog that would not be better with a photo.

My old boss wore a thong. You may wonder how I know this. Well I was more than aware of his penchance for thongs because I saw him wearing them--hot pink faux snake skin, purple, and leopard print. And no, my boss was not a young gay man.

Bob* was about 58 years old when I worked for him and his family as a nanny. He had a suit and tie type of job with a large finance company, and when he got home he enjoyed wearing a thong to swim laps in their pool. You can imagine my surprise the first time I witnessed his apparel choice. I had just started work as a nanny a week before, and I was taking advantage of my employer's heated lap pool on a Saturday afternoon. Bob came out to the pool in a robe, and I didn't pay much attention to him. Well shortly thereafter I looked over to see his practically bare (and very tanned) butt floating just a feet away from me. Needless to say I only availed myself of the pool during the work week after that afternoon.

The catalogues he received were also quite interesting (I brought in the mail). I also wondered what his very conservative wife thought about his affection for wearing a thong around, especially since their nine year old daughter was witness to it.

Unfortunately and despite my avoidance of their pool, I still could not completely prevent thong viewings. I was upstairs one day, and I looked out at the pool and saw Bob naked! Well, at least I thought he was naked. I later realized he had been wearing a flesh colored thong.

My favorite thong memory occurred in July when I was going on a blind double date (is it blind if you've seen his identical twin brother?). Everyone was meeting at my apartment, which was a two bedroom/two bath in-law suite with its own entrance, before we headed to a Braves game. My friend Sarah arrived first, and she came in singing the "Thong Song" and lauging about seeing Bob in the yard in his thong. Of course, she was quite curious about Bob's thong habit but all in all thought it was humorous. About twenty minutes later the twins arrived at the door, looking repulsed and literally sickened. Bob was doing yard work in his thong, and the young Republicans had the poor fortune of witnessing it.

p.s. I think a Braves game is a perfect first date, especially if you stop by the Varsity on the way there. The onion rings are perfection.


Moose Knuckle said...

That is a classic, off-color post Ms. Groundhog. A welcome change of pace form your typically insightful, thought-provoking posts. You are one of the more versatile bloggers I have ever come across in all my years of blog-reading!

Anonymous said...

I cannot (for the life of me) understand WHERE this post came from. I am a VERY big Ally fan (even though we don't always agree and you don't always keep in touch) but this is unlike you. I guess (like "moose knuckle" said) that's what makes it classic.

Being a guy, I have to say that thongs on men are gross anyway but thongs on Old Men are just sick.

Ally said...

I wish I had known sooner that a thong post was all I needed to get the fan base out with such praise as "classic." As for Anonymous #2, it took some thinking for me to figure out who you are. We're overdue for a lunch!

Anonymous said...

Ally I believe subconsciously that you may be a voyeur. It is obvious that a homeowner should be allowed to even go skinny-dipping in their own private pool. Obviously privacy is extremely important to this man. He probably thought that you were the type person that would have enjoyed seeing a fully mature man in the buff or he thought if you did not like what you saw that you would simply ignore him and not sit for hours watching him swim in a skin-tone thong. I am very surprised that you have taken such a conservative approach on this "classic" subject. Dr. RJJ