Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Growth Spurt

Do you ever have periods of revelations, understanding, and growth that are so rapid that you're unable to process it all and reflect and write it down before you forget it (and then have to make the realization all over again--probably years later as a result of some different experience)?

The last few weeks my mind's "off" switch has escaped me, and I've been finding all sorts of pieces to the puzzle--some that I didn't even know were missing. I imagine I could write many posts from all that I'm discovering about life, relationships, myself, and other sundry topics, and I imagine the posts would take hours to write and would probably seem rather dull and introspective.

I'm also reevaluating the fit of some of the puzzle pieces, realizing I shoved them into place many years ago when I was a different person with very different beliefs. It's a slow and somewhat overwhelming process, but I'm beginning to reconsider some of my long-held beliefs. And while parts of my life have been transformed over the past few years as my faith has grown, this growth is more constant, rapid, and daily. And I suspect it's the result of the freedom of time and brain "hard drive space."

Although the last week or so has been very hectic at work because of the angel tree program I've organized and am now scheduling over 180 deliveries for (I can't wait for this to be over!), in general I've enjoyed so much more downtime. My days begin with a much slower pace, and my mind drifts to all sorts of things; and I actually have the time and desire to follow thoughts through instead of shelving them for "one day." It's such a luxury and a gift and a reminder that living an examined and intentional life has rewards that far surpass the effort to do so.

And as I question and consider, I'm reminded of this passage from Walden:

"...I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for deep the ruts of tradition and conformity! I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now."

I like the image of standing past the mast, soaking in the moonlight and enjoying the view and pursuing God's best rather than the path of least resistance and ease.

p.s. I'm thankful for the super warm sherpa lined hoodie I bought from J. Crew with the money my dad gave me (early) for Christmas.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

I Was Tagged (Over Two Weeks Ago)

I'm a little slow, but I'm finally responding to the tagging by Jennifer who I think is one of my newer readers.

So I'm supposed to tag seven more people and post the rules....but I think I'll just tag Ella and Billy. So now I'm to list seven weird and/or random things about myself. I'm sure you all feel like you know enough about me, but here I go anyway. I was tagged after all.

1. I used to love and listen to Alanis Morissette so much that my friends refused to ride in my car unless I promised to not play her CD. My affinity for her music began the moment I heard "You Oughta Know" as it reflected my feelings perfectly since I'd just found out my high school boyfriend had cheated on my over spring break. I proceeded to see her in concert three times and listen to her songs on repeat for years.

2. I had my first bowl of chili this week. Chili has just never appealed to me, but this week my roommate's adoptive mom brought us a huge container of white chili and upon trying it, I've discovered I love it. I also discovered that homemade banana pudding with homemade cream and some crunchy chocolate stuff is unbelievable and can be consumed in mass quantities in one sitting.

3. I'm so nice that I tweezed my ex-boyfriend's Sampras's eyebrows for the two years following our break-up.

4. Carter and I have not kissed yet, and this is the first time I've ever been on four dates with someone and not done so. The weird thing is--I like it. I'm so less distracted and so much more in tune with who he is than wondering when we'll make out next:)

5. I build muscle quickly and have to watch my workouts and make sure I don't run too much, etc. or my legs will get so big that my jeans don't fit in the thighs. It's really not a cute look.

6. I love writing Christmas cards. It's such a wonderful time to reflect on my friendships and share my feelings of gratitude with them. Plus it's a good excuse to break out the magic markers.

7. Speaking of magic markers, I took notes with them in high school and college. My college algebra professor told another professor (who happened to be my great-uncle thus my knowing about his comment) that "the girl with the highest grade in my class takes all of her notes in markers; it's the oddest thing." I kept the markers in a Hello Kitty box and just found that the bright colors made school, especially classes like math, more entertaining for me.

p.s. I'm thankful for a quiet night at home with my Christmas tree, pumpkin pie Yankee candle, caramel truffle coffee, West Wing DVD, pjs, Christmas colored M&Ms, and cards. This is the life.