Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Growth Spurt

Do you ever have periods of revelations, understanding, and growth that are so rapid that you're unable to process it all and reflect and write it down before you forget it (and then have to make the realization all over again--probably years later as a result of some different experience)?

The last few weeks my mind's "off" switch has escaped me, and I've been finding all sorts of pieces to the puzzle--some that I didn't even know were missing. I imagine I could write many posts from all that I'm discovering about life, relationships, myself, and other sundry topics, and I imagine the posts would take hours to write and would probably seem rather dull and introspective.

I'm also reevaluating the fit of some of the puzzle pieces, realizing I shoved them into place many years ago when I was a different person with very different beliefs. It's a slow and somewhat overwhelming process, but I'm beginning to reconsider some of my long-held beliefs. And while parts of my life have been transformed over the past few years as my faith has grown, this growth is more constant, rapid, and daily. And I suspect it's the result of the freedom of time and brain "hard drive space."

Although the last week or so has been very hectic at work because of the angel tree program I've organized and am now scheduling over 180 deliveries for (I can't wait for this to be over!), in general I've enjoyed so much more downtime. My days begin with a much slower pace, and my mind drifts to all sorts of things; and I actually have the time and desire to follow thoughts through instead of shelving them for "one day." It's such a luxury and a gift and a reminder that living an examined and intentional life has rewards that far surpass the effort to do so.

And as I question and consider, I'm reminded of this passage from Walden:

"...I had several more lives to live, and could not spare any more time for that one. It is remarkable how easily and insensibly we fall into a particular route, and make a beaten track for ourselves....how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity! I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now."

I like the image of standing past the mast, soaking in the moonlight and enjoying the view and pursuing God's best rather than the path of least resistance and ease.

p.s. I'm thankful for the super warm sherpa lined hoodie I bought from J. Crew with the money my dad gave me (early) for Christmas.

17 comments:

Thomas said...

Hey, how are you?

Accidentally Me said...

Hmm...interesting...would love to hear more about the new revelations:-) Maybe you could tackle them in small chunks..like a post about work, a post about family, a post about relationships, etc....

ella said...

I agree with AM. I'm interested in hearing more about your relevations. It's just amazing how within one year your life has changed so drastically - from being an attorney to being a full time missionary.

anne said...

do you think it is the extra time and slower pace that has helped show you these revelations?

i think in part why i keep a diary/blog is to look back on it and see what i have learned, or not. there is always that constant head beating to show me that sometimes i have learned a lesson and forgotten it. but it is still comforting to know that i once knew it. that i have to re-learn it for a reason.

bMoles said...

Have you found me a wife yet?

allbilly said...

I found it interesting how you went from deep thoughts to J.Crew in one sentence.

I've heard Americans referred to as "human doings" ...not "human beings"...and I think I tend to agree.

Each has their own pace I suppose.

Trixie said...

hope you find the time to write down and reflect on your recent revelations.

maybe you can post one or two of them to enlighten the rest of us as well. :)

Ally said...

Trixie: I'm not sure I'd be enlightening anyone--but it would be good to write them down. Sometimes written reflection helps me realize I've not even realized anything.

Billy: That's apt--"human doings."

Brian: I didn't even know I was supposed to be looking!

Anne: Yes, I definitely think a slower pace leads to a desire to delve into deeper thinking for me and thus make realizations. When I worked more I didn't have the mental energy to read anything very substantial or to reflect very much on what I read---and written material often sparks certain thoughts and revelations. I also think being in such a different environment has led me to think about things I didn't give much thought to before.

Ella: Isn't life great? Things can change so very quickly!

AM: Maybe I'll do that some during the holidays.

K. said...

i have those epiphanies all the time, friend. hope you are well. merry christmas a day or two late.

Princess Extraordinaire said...

I love the quote - I, too, would rather be riding on the deck with the wind in my face looking out at what's to come then residing safely in the confines of the cabin...to be honest - I feel that this year has been spent in the *cabin* and I am finding it hard to get out....

cdp said...

Lovely quote, beautiful post. I have these times too, and they always make me feel better about the times when my mind seems pretty fallow, caught up in the hustle of daily life and tending to shelve any thoughts of real substance.

Happy New Year! Wishing you a 2008 marked with love, hope, and peace.

Sanyukta said...

Hey...Happy New Year :)

Appletini said...

Would love to hear more...

Whine Girl said...

where are you miss Ally?

icadle said...

did your growth spurt kill your blog? :-(

brandy said...

Ally? Are you alive? Have you fallen in a well?

Clearlykels said...

Happy New Year!