Wednesday, March 19, 2008

"Sheets of empty canvas, untouched sheets of clay..."

In high school I'd put this song on repeat as I fell asleep. As I got ready for school I'd listen to "Betterman," and before each cross country meet I'd listen to "Even Flow" and "Alive" in mental preparation. I managed my way into a mosh pit at their concert in Charlotte when I was 18, and it was definitely the highlight of my life up until that point.

While I no longer have the angst that once fueled my love of Pearl Jam, music is still a really important part of my life. It energizes, inspires, and can even depress me. Thus an interesting part of dating for me is learning someone's musical tastes. Carter SHOCKED me by being unable to name a single Pearl Jam song; he even looked at a list of their songs online, and none rang a bell. He later recognized a song or two on a CD I made for him, but still we're living in very different musical worlds (e.g., he doesn't have an ipod/MP3 player, and he only owns (maybe) four CDs that I like). Fortunately he's more open to my musical taste than I am to his, and we can easily agree on U2 and Christian music.

I think part of the difference in our musical preference is our age difference. I'm 29 (and still cannot believe sometimes that I've reached such a grown-up seeming age), and he's 37. Eight years isn't a big difference in my mind given our ages, but for the first time, I feel like I'm dating an adult. I'm dating someone who has his life more together than I have mine. He's not calling me twice a day for advice or unable to discuss complicated issues in a mature, thoughtful, and educated way. In the first few months, it was a bit intimidating. Anyway, I digress; that's another post all together.

So here's another thing that may be age related: short sleeve buttoned up shirts (but at least not the white ones some men wear with suits) and sandals. Suffice to say that I'm glad we started dating in the late fall:)

Am I the only person who finds these types of "sandals" to be an incredible eye sore? When are these better than the faithful Rainbow flip-flops that every other guy I know wears? Although I don't put short-sleeve button up shirts in quite the same category as "sandals," I find a Polo or long sleeve button up with the sleeves rolled up to be much much better. I'm definitely not a fashionista by any stretch, so I'm curious if I'm alone in these opinions. If you're dating someone with an age difference, I'm curious to read about what differences you've encountered too.

Fortunately Carter and my similarities in more important areas far outnumber our differences. And as soon as I'm done with my CLE in Atlanta on Friday, I get to see him:)

p.s. I'm grateful that Buckhead Church is having a Good Friday service and that I'll be in the ATL for it.

20 comments:

pie said...

Katie is her real name but she didn't go to law school.


And those sandals? Yes, you are correct in believing they are atrocious. Blech. Buy this man a pair of rainbows. STAT!

Ys said...

aww i quite like those sandals.

i'm 24 and my boyfriend is 21. the age difference isnt huge but it certainly made an impact on our relationship when he was 20 and i was 23 cos you grow up so much between the ages of 20 and 23/24. i'm going through my mid-twenties "change" whereas he's going through his early-twenties "change". somehow it works out much better now he's a year older and it's not a problem for us :)

ella said...

First of all, I am not sure if the age difference accounts for the disparity in the taste in music. It sounds like you just grew up differently. I've dated plenty of guys much older than me and we've enjoyed the same bands.

Secondly, the Banker wore shoes like that. It made me cringe everytime I saw them. Get that boy some cool flip flops STAT!

Thirdly, short sleeve button ups can be cool, assuming it's a current look.

I think Carter may be in need of a makeover.

Of course, it is what is inside that matters the most. :)

Ally said...

Pie: That's what I thought!

Ys: I didn't realize you and your boyfriend are so young!

Ella: You may be right about the music thing; part of it is that he's just not into music like I am.

And "cringe" is exactly what'd I do; lets hope he reserves that footwear for when I'm not around:)

Jeff Price said...

First of all....for not knowing any Pearl Jam songs, Carter should be kicked to the curb immediately! Now after you have ignored that useless advice, yes those sandals should be the second thing to go.

My wife (25) is 5 years younger than me (30) and she is responsible for me wearing jeans again (80's jeans were tight and uncomfortable), getting flip-flops (instead of tevas) and making me feel like a stud whenever I wear a long sleeve button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up. I am responsible for her recognizing Eddie Vedder's voice and for saving her from the fashion atrocity that are Uggs .

Pam said...

What!? He doesn't know any Pearl Jam songs. ACK! I was so obsessed with that band (and Eddie Vedder) when I was in college. I wore the album Ten out. Funny you should mention "Black"...I use to listen to that song while going to sleep too.

bMoles said...

I heard he wears khaki socks with those sandals.

I like the new layout/color scheme.
-B

Ally said...

Brian: Oh no! Surely not. I'll ask.

Pam: I share your disbelief. Ten definitely makes my top five of all time albums (as does Counting Crows' debut album).

Jeff: I always love your comments. Your two paragraphs have summed up why we need relationships:)

AaroN said...

As I lie in my bed, contemplating death by coughing, I thought I would use the ride awakening to read a Blog or two. I need to retrieve my laptop from work this evening, so since I'll be in the area, Sarah and I will most likely be at the Friday night service as well. I hope I can stop coughing long enough for you to enjoy the service. :)

cdp said...

Ok. Oh wow. So much to comment on.

I've been listening to Pearl Jam this week (Vitalogy) and can admit to jamming out pretty hard. I agree with you about Ten, and I don't think you need me to tell you my feelings on August & Everything After.

McD and I have nearly the same age difference, and I completely relate to what you're saying about dating an adult. I was a little intimidated by it at first too, but isn't it so nice to have someone MORE grown up and together than you? I love it. We don't have the music problem TOO much . . . he def knows his Pearl Jam although he also has some heinous 80's monstrosities in his CD cabinet. He's also a big REM fan which helps.

The sandals? Gag. Me. gagmegagmegagme.

Also, can I please have the toffee cookie recipe?

And finally, I am still laughing thinking of you in a mosh pit. Too funny.

Okay, I'm going now. Have a wonderful, peaceful, and joyous Easter, my friend!

jennifer said...

I'm also not a fashionista and also completely agree with you about the shirts and the sandals.

Flat Coke and Flies said...

Hate the shoes. EEK!

Bat & I have 10 years difference. He knows a LOT more 70s & 80s music than me. I'm more of a 90s girl, but he knows that too. He says I dress him, so if that's the case, I put him in polos quite often. But those shoes? Ummm...no. He does wear loafers...are those still cool?

Ally said...

FC&F: I think some loafers are good, and I like Polos too. Nice work.

Jennifer: It seems we're the majority:)

cdp: I hope you're having a worshipful and joyous Easter too.

I certainly appreciate the lack of drama and the maturity that comes with dating an actual adult.

And the toffee recipe is from the back of the bag for the toffee bits! I'll get it to you.

Aaron: I didn't hear you coughing at the service:) Hope you're feel much much better.

Pete Wilson said...

Ally, you crack me up! And I have to agree...I'm not a big fan of the sandals.

pneumoniaBoy said...

I survived the service, thanks. It was rather interesting, not what I expected and very provocative. I enjoyed it.

Ragamuffinsoul.com did a great behind-the-scenes video of the making of it.

icadle said...

I like the Chacos - I dont' think of the above as sandals so much as bits of leather cut into strips....

B said...

hey ally

thanks for the positive thoughts :)

Lib said...

so, ally, i have a feeling that we could get together and listen to the same songs on repeat. we must have some sort of musical connection. I distinctly remember putting "Betterman" on replay in the 8th grade, and have to say that it's my favorite Pearl Jam song hands down. Although...Evenflow, Alive, and Black are the runner-ups.
Have you read my post called "soundtrack?" if not, check it out. i think i posted it in Feb. anyhow...i'm also with you on those sandals being a major eye sore. my husband, chris, would NEVER be allowed to wear such atrociously ugly shoes...because, after all, it just reflects poorly on me:) you live in ATL? i'm from Charlotte, but live out in TX now...about to move to Salt Lake City and chill with the mormons for a year.

Allen Madding said...

I believe those are the most hideous forms of footwear known to man. Hopefully he isn't wearing them with socks...

I also detest sweater vests, but thats just me.

Jad said...

A few things:

Saw PJ on the Vs. tour in 1994 the night before I went on spring break my senior year. They were huge then. My wife doesn't understand how this (or other big shows, etc.) meant so much to me. My wife isn't a huge music fan at all though and we still get along.

Those sandals suck.

I tend to like short sleeved button downs as long as they're decently stylish. Never tucked in though.