Wednesday, May 30, 2012

It's Hard to Know Where to Start

So much has changed in the last four months that it's hard to even know where to start this post.  There are so many things I could write about, and they are almost all related to my son and being a mom.  I guess that's because the first few months--especially the first 6 weeks or so of a baby's life are so consuming--especially for the mother if she's nursing (and if her husband is traveling a lot for work).  Since Jackson was eating every two hours for several weeks my life revolved around his feedings, which took about 45 minutes and sometimes longer.  And while my day still largely revolves around Jackson since I'm staying at home with him full-time, it now involves more playing, cooing, and interaction and not just feedings and naps. 

I've felt like being a parent has had such a steep learning curve.  Initially I was constantly texting my mom and sister, researching this or that on the internet, and just trying to figure various things out.  I'd guess 75% or more of the questions related to breastfeeding, which has been a very challenging experience, but something I haven't felt quite comfortable quitting.  I could write several posts on this topic, but I'm not really sure anyone (understandably) cares :) Thankfully I've finally found a groove with feeding Jackson, and he's thriving.  In fact, he's downright chunky, and I absolutely love it.  All in all, I'm finally gaining confidence, and I feel like I really know Jackson and his needs now.

I haven't missed working at all and am so grateful not to have the pressure of filing deadlines, urgent calls from clients, etc.  I guess the only things I miss about working are the hour long lunch break and having time to play on the computer (and blog)...which I guess isn't really missing work! And of course, I miss the paycheck and some of my coworkers.  Jackson and I had lunch with them last week though, so we're keeping in touch. 

Thankfully Jackson is a wonderful sleeper and has been sleeping 8-12 hours straight most nights for at least 6 weeks now (unless he breaks out of his swaddle, which means I reswaddle him and he's back asleep within 5 minutes).  And while I'm still not used to getting up at 5 a.m. that's the beauty of not working--I don't have to focus/concentrate so it's okay if I'm a little groggy plus I can nap when he does.  It's funny to me that I accomplish so much now by the time I use to get up for work (8 a.m.), and I'm not even "working."  Staying at home has also meant more time with my family and having the flexibility of day-trips to my hometown.  And since my husband works from home, I even get to hit the pool for a few hours here and there. 

p.s. I'm thankful that my husband's traveling has slowed down, and he's home much more now.

15 comments:

laura anne said...

Hi Ally, it's great to hear your news and Jackson is gorgeous wee boy! Hope you continue to do well and glad Blake's travelling has slowed down.

As for breastfeeding, don't know what you are going through but I can guess - anyway, I read this post a while ago on Hello Giggles blog and it might encourage you? http://hellogiggles.com/dear-breastfeeding-moms-who-feel-like-giving-up Breastfeeding is amazing but TOUGH!

Praying for you and your family xx

HappyascanB said...

Yay for an update! I completely understand what you mean by it being such a huge learning curve! Nursing was a BIG deal to me, too, and it was NOT something that came easily. We hung in there and supplemented when we had to, and it went fine. I also felt like I had a million questions for my mom and sister! :) And our poor pediatrician! I always have a list when we go!

Glad Blake's travelling is slowing. Tim's long hours are almost more than I can handle at times. It's amazing the relief I feel when I see him walk through our door each evening! :)

So happy to see you living such a beautiful life! It was surely worth the wait! I praise God for his faithfulness to us!!

Trish said...

Oh, I love chubby babies! More pictures, please!! We've already talked about the breastfeeding thing but it is definitely refreshing to see new moms admit that it is TOUGH! I would agree :) Hoping to get to see Jackson soon!!

r8chel said...

Ally, I was just reading your previous blog post again last night and thought about leaving a comment to see how you're doing. But then I didn't -- and now a new post magically appeared! :) Hooray! I'm so glad to hear that things are going so well for you. And wow - Jackson is a great sleeper!!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

From what I've heard (and my own limited experiences), nursing is HARD. It might be emotionally helpful for you to write about your own experiences. Your readers, friends and family care what you have to say, even if it's about topics that are seemingly mundane. Anyway, I'm glad you're figuring it out ... the three of you make for a beautiful family.

Ally said...

Thank you so much Laura Anne! I enjoyed this post, and it is very encouraging :)

Ally said...

Oh so worth the wait! I feel so blessed and am grateful for moms like you who've already been where I am.

Ally said...

We would love to see you! I need to find our camera battery charger, so I can post more (non Iphone) photos :)

Ally said...

Aw, thanks for checking in on us. With more regular naps I'm hoping to come back to the blogosphere more often.

Ally said...

You make a really good point...it probably would be good for me to process all of this in written form, and it might be helpful for me to read when I hopefully have another baby.

Anonymous said...

Glad things are going so well. Understand you had a tough week. Glad you are enjoying little Jackson and life in general. I am sure it is nice not having to work and makes it hard to imagine how those who have a little can survive having to go back to work,leaving the little one, then having all the "baby" responsibilities when they get home plus all the other things especially if one or more older children. Makes one wonder how our parent and grandparents were able to survive it. Dr. RJJ

Ys said...

I'm so happy to hear things are going so well :) He looks like a happy little man :) Everything you wrote is pretty much how I felt for the first four months of Francis's life. It's scary how I was nodding my head and agreeing with it all :D

Ahh, yeah, Francis was the same at that age: slept really well and got up at 5am. After 6 months everything changed ;) He still sleeps well but he likes to bunk in with us now for half the night. We don't mind, though. Co-sleeping is rather lovely :)

I'm sorry to hear you had trouble breast-feeding. I had problems too. It's something that still upsets me. But bad after-care was to blame and I'm trying not to blame myself.

Our Happy Married Life... said...

he is absolutely adorable. I can definitely relate with how hard breastfeeding was in the beginning. If I'm being honest, I wanted to quit SOOO bad because that was the easy route. But, most things that are totally worth it in life aren't always easy. I kept telling myself it would pay off and here we are almost 1 year later and I'm still (minimally) breastfeeding. If you decide to quit, there is nothing wrong with it but if you choose to push on, you will not regret it. Since Olivia was born we've only bought 3 cans of formula and I'm happy with that. And so is our bank account :) Things will continue to get easier and easier and you will look back and barely remember how hard it was in the beginning. I can promise you that. Thanks for the update and feel free to email me anytime if you have questions!

Ally said...

Thanks! I'm sorry breastfeeding was a struggle for you too. It's definitely disappointing. I'm glad you're enjoying Francis!

Ally said...

Formula is so expensive! I haven't had to use any in over a month thankfully and got a few free cans from the doctor's office in case I need it later. Thanks for your comment!