My friend Chasie likes to say that I'm "doing law;" I guess because she figures that after three years of "practicing law" I should have the hang of it by now and be ready to actually do it. I'm not so sure. I've forgotten so much and am practicing in some areas that are new to me, and since my office uses Westlaw (instead of Lexis) and has no directory search system I feel much less efficient in actually finding what I don't know. But I'm learning to extend grace to myself and set mental boundaries, not allowing myself to think about work at home. I'm trying to apply some of the lessons I've learned in the last year, constantly reminding myself that my identity and worth are not tied to my work product or ability to churn out documents. And fortunately I'm not feeling judged, which is great.
Part of being the low man on the totem pole at a firm is that you're constantly writing briefs, memos, and whatnot for other attorneys' cases, and they revise your work. It's like a test every day, and it's rare to make a perfect score as everyone's style is different. But somehow it's different now, probably in part because of my perspective and in part because I'm working at a place that ordered pizza for everyone (and we all ate together--no staff/attorney segregation) yesterday for lunch.
Now my fingers are crossed that (1) I really do get to completely take Friday off so that I can enjoy my three day weekend in Nashville (and celebrate Isabella's birthday) and (2) our case doesn't settle, so that in 7 days I really will fly to Austin for this huge trial. Every case I work on seems to settle, so I never get to go to trial. I won't be trying any of the case, but it'll still be fun to go and watch and learn.
Scene from Will & Grace:
Jack hits on a random gay guy at a coffeehouse and ends up meeting him in "Jack's office" which is really Will's law office
Random gay guy: So I wouldn't have guessed that you were a lawyer.
Jack (sitting behind Will's desk): Probably because I look so young.
Random gay guy: So what kind of law do you practice?
Jack: I don't practice, I just do.
I guess great minds (or at least Jack and Chasie's) think alike.
p.s. I'm grateful for energy and health--the ability to sprint, the desire to play, and all that goes with feeling young.