Wednesday, May 05, 2010

"I Can Just Get Over It"

Given my aversion to effectively handling interpersonal conflict, I often, at least initially, take the position that "I can just get over" whatever has bothered me. I'm not sure this isn't a good approach--after all, I don't need to confront everyone about everything, especially since some things sting in the moment but are quickly forgotten.

On the flip side, sometimes I don't just get over it, and after a few weeks, I realize that I've become a little bitter and I've complained about the situation to others rather than maturely discussed it with those directly involved. As I began to write this post, I contemplated sharing the situation with you all. After all, I suspect most of you would agree with my position, and then I'd feel even more justified in my frustration. I would still not, however, be remotely justified in my delay in actually handling the situation as a Christian is called to do. So this afternoon I will (1) ask for forgiveness in how I've vented entirely too much about this and become bitter and (2) explain my frustration and seek understanding. Of course, I almost dread this conversation. I wonder when I'll finally learn that in some instances I just need to deal with things and not stew on them. I'm guessing marriage will give me some opportunities to practice handling things in a more immediate way since it might be hard to live with someone while I'm stewing :) Thankfully Blake is great at handling interpersonal conflict and calling me out when I appear to be pouting.

In other, oh-so-exciting-news, I think I'm going to go with roses as seen in this photograph but in pink. Blake will likely be wearing a navy suit, so should he wear a pink tie? I love navy and pink together....

p.s. I'm grateful for my time with my friend Allison this weekend (and that she wasn't at home in Nashville during the flood) and the super fun lingerie shower on Saturday night.

12 comments:

HappyascanB said...

Love Love Love the roses! Pink will be just beautiful! And I say yes on the pink tie for Blake!

Proud of you with your conflict resolution. And yes, oh yes, marriage will help you in resolving conflict! I learned quickly I'd been a doormat for years because I was too afraid of conflict and speaking my piece. But Tim's taught me how to voice my opinion and agree to disagree when it's necessary. Freeing, I must say!

A2 said...

I had so much fun this weekend in Chattanooga! And I am very grateful to you for allowing me to stay longer than expected :) I am ready to get back to Nashville...all of the loss is very sad and gives me a heavy heart although I am thankful that I wasn't affected directly. Good luck with the confrontation/conversation. Love you!

L.C.T. said...

I quite like blue and pink too. Very pretty.

Jan @ Struck by Serendipity said...

Love pink/navy combo!

Good luck on the conversation. You'll be glad you had it when it's over!

r8chel said...

Good for you for having the self control not to share the details with us! Taming the tongue is tough, but as you've just demonstrated, it can be done! :)

Our Happy Married Life... said...

i love navy and pink. well pink with anything really. And I love my hubby in pink. I think men should wear pink more often.

Anonymous said...

Love pink/navy. Good idea! Yes, marriage teaches you a lot about conflict resolution and give and take and learning to pick your battles. But even with all that, I'm still VERY happy I am married!

Aaron said...

I'm actually shocked at your confession. I would have figured you for the type of person that would immediately face the issue head-on instead of delaying resolution. I suppose it all depends on how or who you're in conflict with. :)

Ally said...

Jan: I do! And it was so not a big deal...I just build it up in my head.

Rachel: It is so tough! I think I've read the book of James like 30 times :)

HML: I agree! Pink is my favorite color though.

Aaron: Yes, it does depend...if it's a conflict with a retailer (non-personal or emotional) or I'm advocating for someone else, I'm your girl. But when it comes to things of a more personal nature, I become anxious and dread it.

TC said...

I'm kinda with Aaron, I figured you'd be a-ok with confrontations.

I'm impressed you didn't tell us what was going on: that's tough to hold your tongue on!

Ys said...

The flowers sound lovely :)

Ah yeah, I'm a pouter too. I often hide away and pretend everything's fine when really it's eating me up on the inside. With me it all ends up bubbling to the surface pretty quick, though ;) Good luck with sorting it all out :)

OK Chick said...

I like the navy and pink.

Last week I stumbled across someone's wedding pictures (on a blog), and their colors were navy and pink. I would have never thought to put those colors together, but it really looked great.