Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Dating Mishaps...

are one of my favorite subjects. I love hearing people’s stories, hence my viewing of TLC’s The Baby Story and The Wedding Story in college. I guess dating stories are interesting to me now because of my stage in life. A lot of my friends are married, so they don’t have any new stories to share. And from what I have observed, once you have children, stories centering around bodily fluids and functions and sleeping habits become fascinating and appropriate to share with others, even large groups of acquaintances! I digress.

I had never been much of one for dating simply because I hate the awkward conversation of telling someone I do not want to go out again. My solution was to just say no to the request for the date and avoid any future discomfort. Plus I usually “know” that someone isn’t a fit very quickly—no meal required. But last year I decided that I needed to be more open and give dating more of a try. A series of dates followed—including several blind dates. One of my favorites was a friend’s coworker. Admittedly I did not know much about my date prior to our meeting, but I quickly learned enough when he mentioned that he had a photograph of Ronald Reagan in his bedroom. This date was a favorite of mine because it only lasted an hour, and we both reached the same conclusion at the end of a rather quick dinner; we’re not a match. He didn’t even say he’d call me. Perfect.

The string of dates included another lawyer who asked me how much I weighed on our first date (he also wore a scarf in 60 degree weather); a guy who told me that he was meeting another girl for drinks after our date (of course, I had asked if he had ever had two dates in one night….but still…); a professor who wanted to know if I had ever dated a black person because he will not date women who have; and a guy who was such a fantastic conversationalist that we talked for 90 minutes before we placed our order.

The professor also told me about the woman he had really liked that he dumped after eight dates. I made the mistake of asking why, and he explained that she told him that she was a virgin. Since the professor had told me he was a Christian, I was especially stumped as to why this was problematic. And yes, I asked why that was a deal breaker. He told me that he “wanted a woman who can take care of” him, “if you know what I mean” (wink wink). The professor then proceeded to let me pay for more than my fair share of the meal, not giving me any change back from the money I offered him. On a funny note, when I went to the bar at this restaurant to get our food the bartender handed me a small note. I opened it, and it said “Your date sucks. Hit me up for a good time.” And an e-mail address was scribbled. I guess my disgust was visible.

One of my all time favorite date stories was my ex-boyfriend Blake’s. I can’t do justice to the story (it did, however, involve the aforementioned bodily fluids), and it would take too long to tell anyway, but suffice to say that his date story also qualified as his most embarrassing moment ever.

I haven’t heard a “good” dating story in months and am long overdue. Surely one of you has one. And despite what you may think after reading my dating stories, I do like happy ones!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Was dating this girl, had been dating for not too long. She decided to spend the night.

While I was at the university of Georgia, I lived in a manufactured home - READ: TRAILER. We bought the thing used andit came almost fully furnished. Including, you guessed it, a king size r bed. With huge headboard, cabinets all over, the thing massive. Huge darkly stained wooden monstrosity.

So, I wake up the next morning and my midsection is wet. Very wet. First conclusion, I think i just wet the bed. She isn't awake, so i kinda feel over her way...ummm her PJ's are wet too...hmmm

Durn, I think i just wet the bed. So i am freaked out, totally humilliated and nowhere to run. Wake her up and confess. Both of us lept out of the bed, utterly disgusted.

Then we noticed there was way too much liquid to have come from either ofus.

turns out the waterbed sprang a leak.

Kimberly said...

Hey, I have been trying to think of embarrassing date stories but most of them were not actual dates. The first night I lived in Boston I tagged along with my roommate and her boyfriend to a swing dance. I danced with the following interesting and slightly creepy people: Douglas the Scientist (with clammy hands) who weighed 90 lbs and kept getting mad at me for not letting him lead; Harvey the old man who was an amazingly active dances and threw me around the floor until I was out of breath; and Steve the wierd guy who looked somewhat like a serial killer and somehow got my number and invited me to several random parties after that, which I suck at saying no to so that led to more awkward hours of uncomfortableness. Needless to say I'm not that crazy about swing dancing anymore.
My bday is the 18th. It's also Kerri's birthday! We're twins three years apart, have I ever told you that story?
Hope you have a great weekend!