Friday, February 23, 2007

Have You Ever....

made a relatively important life decision that you knew seemed illogical (at least to most people)? I've been wrestling with a decision and realizing how suffocating (and liberating) it can feel to do (or in my case even contemplate) something that doesn't exactly make the best sense. I guess it's easy to fall into a cookie-cutter life and not to want to rock the boat or "mess up." Although I admire people who live less than traditional lives, I see myself making pretty boring choices.

I'm realizing more and more that my fear of making the wrong decision renders me inert. So I just don't make decisions. I've given thought as to why I'm so indecisive, and I think part of the reason is that I see so many options and know I'll be just fine with any of the options. For example, last night I went to dinner with my friend Jason and in my head this is what I'm thinking about the places we're to pick from for dinner (we needed something quick b/c Grey's was supposedly 2 hours; it was a rerun! Oh well more time for me to bake cookies:) "Well if we go to Panera, I'll have fruit, and that's healthy; but if we go to Firehouse, I'll get to try it for the first time; but sushi is good too, and I haven't had that in a month."

So I see what I'll like about all of them and know I'll be happy with any of the choices, and thus I honestly do not have a preference. Lame. I do not care. It's weird because I'm definitely opinionated about some things--issues that I think are important, relationships, eating at Red Lobster, and the like, so I figured this indecisiveness is a recent thing (I have a horrible memory so what do I know?). So I asked my mom, and she said that even when I was little I saw a lot of different perspectives and had a hard time picking one approach/choice.

So with the decision I'm trying to make now (and have casually thought about for months), I can't make up my mind. And yes, I've been prayerful about it, talked about it with friends, and am still waiting on God's e-mail with explicit instructions. But the bottom line may just be that I just need to make a choice, trusting that everything will be just fine (like what I claim to believe) even if my choice doesn't make the "best sense" to anyone else (or perhaps to myself).


e.b. said...

Sometimes I think that when we are scared by decisions or choices it means they are the right ones we need to make. We are scared because we don't know and are afraid of failure. But those are the reasons to give it a chace. That is why we should go down that route.

allbilly said...

Gerald Mann once said that in order to achieve miracles you have to be in "miracle territory".

Take Chances. You'll be fine.

PeeJ said...

I too used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure.


Aaron said...

So, when are you selling all your possessions and which mission are you going on?

Clearlykels said...

I find that as soon as I make a decision. I can just make my mind believe that it is the absolute right thing to do and go forward with it. Once you make your decision, just go for it. Enjoy. I'm sure you'll make the right one.

Kimberly said...

I think sometimes even though there are positives about everything it makes you think you have to pick the BEST one and if you pick wrong then you missed out on all the others. One thing that has helped me with this is when someone told me once, "God is a redeemer, and he redeems even wrong decisions." How much better when you're actually TRYING to follow him? I don't think he's going to let you fall - but even if you do, he's there too.

Jeff Price said...

For a minute there I thought we were playing that drinking game, "I never..." lol

I’ve noticed a trend with myself as well, with perhaps being too complacent with God’s sovereignty. The knowledge that whatever decision I make, when I’m focused on the Lord will be blessed and that ultimately He will use it for the greater good has made me a bit lazy. Feeling like I don’t need to make a decision then (even though I feel the prompting to do so), is just as sinful as not trusting God to fulfill His promises when I do make one.

Seeking after the will of God is a two fold promise of omission and commission. Not doing the things that we know we should not, and doing the things that we know we should. May the answers to your prayers come at the fullness of time and in bold print :-)

brookem said...

It seems like you have given this lots of thought, so I imagine that the decision you come to will end up being the right one, and will work out just as it is meant to. Good luck.
PS- I could totally relate to your dinner decisions last night!

Anonymous said...

Decisions are scary. At least when you make it, it will be done. You will know. There will be peace of mind.

Then again if you make the WRONG decision you'll know what you have to do next.

I don't think I was any help. lol

Still just me said...

The hardest decision I ever made took me 18 years to make. I was to afraid to do plan A, and to afraid to do plan B. I was so afraid to do anything that I didn't do nothing.

Ally said...

e.b.: That's a good point.

Billy: My great Aunt Jean used to say that all the time-- "to experience miracles you have to be in miracle terristory." Thank you for your vote of confidence.

Peej: Me too:)

Aaron: Just cut to the chase, why don't you?

Clearkels: You're right. I've taken your advice and made one decision already. And I'm just going with it and not doubting it (or at least not much:)

Kimberly: You're exactly right--I'm afraid of not making the absolutely best decision b/c I might miss out--totally ignoring the fact that I'm missing out completely when I do not make any decision. And thank you for the reminder that God is a redeemer of wrong decisions.

Jeff: I always love your thoughtful comments, and this one is no exception. And you're right--I'm so lazy too for the same reason. I need to think about the sinfulness of that.

Brookem: I'm glad I'm not the only indecisive diner.

FC&F: I agree that making a decision brings a certain peace.

Still Just Me: And that's what I want to avoid--looking back in 5 or 18 years and realizing how long overdue the choice is.

brandy said...

If you do get an email from God, will you ask him why he hasn't returned my recent calls?

DCVita said... post is kind of similar to this somewhat. I firmly believe that when the time comes for you to make that decision (at the moment you need to make it), God will intervene and tell you which path you should take. Sometimes He does not answer until the very last minute!

Ally said...

Brandy: I'll see what I can do:) I often find that in hindsight, God answered my calls but I ignored him.

DCVita: I hope so. Sometimes I think God wants us to step out in faith too, trusting that He'll take care of us (even if we don't have a hard copy of His e-mail response).

Allen Madding said...

As I get older I 've found that I can't stand at the crossroads trembling in fear of making a bad decision. I can pray over it, study on it, and then I'm gonna have to make a decision. If the decision is the right one SWEET, if not, it will be come intuitively obvious pretty quickly and I can learn from it and be better prepared for a similar decisions in the future.

I totally agree with your comment that sometimes God wants us to step out in faith that He will take care of us - even when we make a bad decision.

Being a parent has given me a whole new angle on viewing His perspective on our decision making. As a Dad, I have to allow my child to make a bad decision from time to time so that my child can learn and grow from the experience. Sure, I'm going to warn the child "caution, this can be painful despite how appealing it looks", but in the end they learn from falling not from be sheltered all the time. If our parents never allowed us to fall down, we would have never have learned to walk, run, or ride a bike. God has to do the same thing for us. He gives us warnings a lot of times if we will heed them, but he also has to allow us to stumple and fall so we can learn the walk.

kathrynthomas said...

i'll email you. i've had a bit of experience with this one.