Before Carter left tonight, we pondered potential titles for this post, and this was his best suggestion. If you've seen the numerous e-harmony ads, it should make sense. After making what feels like a good effort, Carter and I have realized that we're just not matching up in enough of the 29 dimensions of compatibility.
I've had some reservations that I thought might be resolved with time as our relationship and feelings grew, but after more conversation we're realized that our personalities and preferences and strengths and weaknesses are just not lining up in a way that allow us to relationally thrive.
And if that sentence sounds really formal and analytical and without emotion...well in some ways that has been one of my struggles. We can both be overly analytical and intellectual, and somehow the way we fit together has resulted in what feels like a lack of emotional and romantic connection to have been dating seven months (I cannot believe it's been that long). My friend Chasie actually brought this concern up two weeks ago (that I didn't seem that excited about Carter and that she worried that Carter and I didn't share the playfulness and silliness that she enjoys with me), and I am so grateful to her for being bold enough to express her concerns. I love having friends like her, and I'm thankful that my brother-in-law and sister shared their thoughts about this same issue with me (even if I ignored it the first three times:).
On the upside, this has been the most mutual break-up I have ever experienced, and while I know I'll miss Carter, I am glad this is resolved and that I can quit thinking about it.
p.s. I'm grateful for the respectful and kind way Carter and I handled this break-up. There is so much I respect about Carter, and the way he handled this only reinforces my belief that he's a great person.