Sunday, December 07, 2008

If You Can? Seriously?

When I have a less than stellar week I can't help but think about how good my life is because even in a bad week there's just so much greatness--you guys and your helpful comments/links to help me dress myself (will post on that later), rest, "The Resolution" by Jack's Mannequin (which helped me run the fastest three miles on a treadmill I've run in at least 2 years), my lovely Christmas tree, a visit with Chasie, and a solid group of friends to just name a few.

I think the worst part of this last week was the letter I received from Humana, denying my request for health insurance. I had a physical two weeks ago as part of their application process, and the results from my urinalysis are abnormal. I've been told by friends who know more than me about this stuff that a retest would likely render normal results (as these results may be caused the by hard workout I had the night before that the company should have advised me not to do prior to testing--or just be a fluke since my levels don't indicate any clear medical problem). SO here I sit with no health insurance, and now I have to tell other insurance companies that I've been denied by another company for abnormal test results. This health insurance drama began back in August as I tried to wade through the ridiculousness of determining what policies exclude, hide, and otherwise say to confuse their potential insureds. Granted, I should have begun this process 2 months before my other insurance ended. And I should have been more aggressive about COBRA and so on and on. But darn, I'm in shape, have no health issues (other than these new lab results), and do not use tobacco and go to the doctor once a year for my annual appointment and take one prescription drug ($29)a month. ARGH!

So this week I did have health issues (but that would not cost a potential insurer a penny!)...I had a sore throat Sunday-Tuesday and then a weird stomach bug that began on Thursday and seems to be almost over. I'm paid by the hour (which is why I have this health insurance fiasco--but also have awesome flexibility), so I tried not to stress about the fact that I worked like 10 hours this week and just rested and slept a lot. And I'm grateful to be feeling much more normal now.

A bottle of salad dressing slid out of the refrigerator and burst all over the floor.
It took me 20 minutes to find my car at the mall yesterday, and it was 40 degrees and I had lots of bags and felt like I was losing what little bit of mind I had after two days of chewing Pepto Bismol tablets and sleeping.

I spent $800 on new tires on Thursday. That's a lot of money, but it only sort of sucks since it's the first time I've had to buy tires for this vehicle, and it's over 5 years old (80k miles is pretty great).

I haven't been able to focus all week. I've been watching or rather trying to watch Freedom Writers since Monday night; now I'm about half-way finished.

Sometimes I feel like life is way too complicated. Seriously how are we suppose to do all of this? I need to find health insurance, schedule bill payments, get groceries, cook, go to Bible study, call people back, do laundry, rest, journal, read, volunteer, sort through mail and tax stuff, finish this overdue research assignment, respond to work e-mails, submit my time, take clothes to Goodwill, get the hem fixed on those pants, take my dry cleaning, and so on and so on. Am I the only person who thinks moving to another, more simple country might be the answer? Argh, instead I think I'll just listen to "O Holy Night" one more time and gaze at my tree and journal and reflect on the scripture we studied this morning.
In the ninth chapter of Mark there's a boy who suffers from muteness and seizures. His father brought the boy to Jesus, explaining the ailment and saying to Jesus "'But if you can do do anything, have compassion on us us and help us.' And Jesus said to him, 'If you can! All things are possible for one who believes.' Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, "I believe; help my unbelief!"
So none of this "if" crap. I'm counting on God this week. If He can lead a sinner like me into walking with Him and rejoicing in His holiness, then He can surely help me with these feelings of being overwhelmed, unfocused, and wanting to just sleep until my to-do list does itself.

p.s. I'm grateful for the hours of laughter we shared last night. I cannot even explain how ridiculous Oliver, my neighbor, and I are when we get going, but it's just good. It's really good stuff.


Jennifer said...

I understand. I completely understand. I think about running away all the time! To Guatemala, to any third world country where there isn't such busyness!

But then I think of all the things I'd have to do in order to run away to a third world country, and I get stressed again!

You've got the right plan, though. Spend time with God first, and He'll figure out the other stuff for you!

Aaron said...

Don't worry darlin... we'll all have socialized "universal" healthcare soon and it'll fix all your worries!


I still haven't heard anything from my insurance company about adding Sarah to my plan. I wonder how substantial our insurance premiums would be if I were to quit and go into business for myself...

Oh and have you got a nice raspberry colored concrete stain in your kitchen now?

Ally said...

Jennifer: Ha. I think about Guatemala too.

Aaron: Yeah, I'm hoping Obama is going to solve all of my problems. As for getting your own policies, if you want pregnancy/child birth to be covered it'll probably run you at least $300/month. I'd definitely recommend checking it out in advance:) Nah, no stain. I just wiped it up, which is why I love about concrete floors. Of course, if they weren't concrete, it might not have broken.

Ellisha said...

and but if you wanted to run away to another country think of all the acculturating you would have to do when you get there. . Where do you go to find tooth paste, or to even print pictures, or how can you find a gift for 5 euro when you don't think anything the whole country could cost as little as 5 euro... :) just kidding... but listening to "O Holy Night" would be a winner I think.

Ys said...

Aww no problem: happy to help :) Can't wait to see what you decided on.

Sorry to hear the health insurance is such a headache. We have the NHS here so there's no hassle but when it comes to dentists... that's another story and a whole load of expense I can't afford :/ Lucky I have good teeth (hope I didn't just jinx myself!). It'll probably feel a lot more easier to handle when you're not fighting bugs off - give yourself a few days and I'm sure you'll feel ready to take them all on!

ella said...

I'm stressed out by just reading the list of things you need to do.

Hope you are feeling better friend!

Ally said...

Ellisha: The song is definitely helping:)

Ys: I don't even worry about dental insurance, but like you, I've got good teeth (and my sister is a hygeinist).

Ella: Thanks...I'm trying to knock out a few today...

Isabella said...

Isn't it funny how when something like the salad dressing debacle happens, we immediately take a picture? I did the same thing when I saw that "demon owl" last night...I immediately thought, I must take a picture of this for my blog! And I totally agree with you about the to-do list...mine will NOT stop running through my head and I just keep ignoring and procrastinating. It must be the time of year to feel overwhelmed and out of whack. Seems to be going around anyway. I hope you are feeling better and I miss you!

Anonymous said...

I have to get health insurance through Farm Bureau. They aren't too picky...and you don't have to own a farm to use them! lol

Laughter is so good for the soul...

O Holy Night is the most beautiful Christmas song in the world.

Lib said...

Ally--you should just join the military. Then you get guaranteed, free insurance. Oh wait--it isn't free. It'll cost you a trip to Iraq and at least three years of wearing ugly uniforms.

That's funny--I had a flat tire last week and they told me I needed to replace all of them because my Pathfinder is 4-wheel drive. I said, "Thanks, but no thanks." My car is on it's last leg anyways. Good thing my spare is a normal tire...but now I need a spare for my spare...or a new car :)

I feel you on the "how is life so complicated" groans. I'm so wrapped up in school that I've let so much crap fall by the wayside. I have a feeling it may all catch up to me sooner than I'd like.

Hope things get better!

Cat_Chaser said...

Shoveling snow can be a good exercise, may be one the reasons Land of lakes is considered one of the healthiest states? And oh yeah we are nice too, so move up here :)

KennethSF said...

Oh my goodness! I'm glad you told me it's salad dressing in the picture. For a minute there, I thought it was a crime scene photo.

In my experience, Life tends to work itself out in the best possible scenario if I just get out of the way. However you decide to cope with it, I wish you the best of luck.

Anonymous said...

My husband and I both think about selling our house and running away somewhere warm and sunny. (It's 5 degrees here this morning.) Or we fantasize about winning the lottery. (We rarely play.) How do we do it all? We prioritize. Half the stuff you listed doesn't HAVE TO be done. Figure out what does and focus on it. The rest truly does not matter!

Anonymous said...

You can run away and come live in Australia. Virtually no-one here has health insurance. We all get covered by Medicare!

Oh and you can bring Oliver if you like.

The only downside is Christmas is in Summer, so there's not a snowflake in sight.

Anonymous said...

Also, (I forgot to say this in my last comment) you know that God has EVERYTHING in your life covered, right?


Jesus didn't hang on that cross for nothing Ally, He did it for you. Remember that when you're having one of those days.

The best advice I've ever been given is 'let go and let God'.

All things are possible through Him.