Wednesday, March 20, 2013

You're Already Pregnant, AGAIN?

"Is he your only child?" the lady behind me in line asked.

"Yes, but he'll become a big brother this summer." I replied.  And that's when the twenty-something year old in front of me whipped around and said "You're already pregnant, again?!!"  You would have thought I was 16 and unmarried or otherwise appearing totally irresponsible by the shock and derision in her tone.  Lately the response has been more to the tune of "Wow. You're going to have your hands full."  I don't doubt that is true.  Honestly I think I'd have my hands full no matter when we were to have our second child because infants are incredibly labor-intensive and adding a person to your family is a tremendous adjustment.  Sure, Jackson won't be able to help me like an older child might be able to do, but there are upsides to siblings being really close in age.  And really given our ages (34 & 38) and desire to adopt our third child, I feel blessed the Lord chose to give us another child so soon.

Today, however, I was really encouraged by a stranger.  Jackson and I were shopping at Sam's Club (yeah for all of the free samples he enjoyed), and a lady told me how adorable Jackson was and how she had three sons.  I told her we were having a daughter in July, and she exclaimed "Oh you'll love having them so close together.  Mine were 18 and 20 months apart, and I would do it again in a heartbeat."  Her obvious joy was such a pleasure to see as is my friend Michelle's Instagram photographs of her 3 boys (each about 18 months apart).  An older one often has his arm around a younger one, or they're playing together or helping one another.  It's just precious to see.

These examples stand in such stark contrast to the woman at Walmart who told me her 2 children were 18 months apart and that she was suicidal for years and that it was awful.  I hadn't even told her I was having another child but what a warning!  I'm guessing she probably really needed some help but didn't receive it.

Thankfully I'm not very sensitive to these comments, or all of the other insensitive things people say to pregnant people, but more find it a source of entertainment--or today a source of encouragement as I think about all that my family has to look forward to.  Sure it's going to be hard and stressful, but it's also going to be joyful, exciting, and sweet.

p.s. I'm thankful for a day at the aquarium with my mom, niece Mallie, and Jackson.  Such a fun day!



laura anne said...

My godson and his little brother are 22 months apart, and though they have their wrestling, fighting moments they are also great friends. I watch them play together and look out for one another (especially when their parents are not around...! (Why do kids behave so well for other people but not their parents?)

Everyone has their horror stories to share, and sometimes the 'it's all wonderful' stories can be just as hard to hear when it's not your experience, but I think you've got the right attitude! Yep, going from 1 to 2 is tough no matter what age the kids are, but your love for them doesn't change.

I'm super excited for you! And look forward to hearing about your little girl and big brother Jackson!

Accidentally Me said...

18 months seems like an awfully long time to wait to have a second...I had my second 1 minute after the first;-)

I was always, and still am, a little weirded out by people that just randomly stop and ask about kids and plans to have more kids. I realize that people are just being friendly and sharing their own experiences, but it is a little intrusive to ask when someone might be planning on having another baby.

This could just be the city kid in me, though...I basically just get weirded out at the idea of strangers talking to me!

Betty Briones said...

You'll love it and I agree with the idea of those who would do it again in a heartbeat. I certainly would. Yes, you will have your hands full, but you already know that. However, they will be SO close and it's a great age difference. They'll be good friends. I know my girls certainly all. Congratulations again...and as far as people inquiring about when you will have another. When I was picking Ella Rose up from preschool today her teacher inquired about the same. She noticed Evie Alice is now facing forward in her car seat so she jokingly said, looks like it's time for another they are both facing forward now. I laughed and told her she could get right on that. Yes, I planned for four but two fit our lifestyle just fine and I'm truly happy with that. Once again, Congrats.

Bumble Of Joy said...

I totally agree with the women that said it's going to be awesome that they are so close! My second pregnancy was with twin girls and they are 14 months younger than my first born son. Was it crazy in the beginning? Yes. Do I totally love the fact that the 3 of them are best of friends? Absolutely! I think it's great to have siblings that are close in age. We also have a 4th that is 2 1/2 years younger than the twins, if I felt like we could handle to have a 4th even sooner, we would have totally went with it. They go through milestones together and are interested in the same things. I got lots of comments about how I must have my hands full and that I was brave to have 4 kids all so close in age. But I truly believe it is a blessing!

Nilsa @ SoMi Speaks said...

I'm always so amazed at what absolute strangers are willing to share or advise. C'mon! That said, it's clear that everyone has their very own, unique experiences with children - and so will you. Knowing what I know about you, I'm sure you're ready, willing and capable ... and therefore, this will be a truly beautiful experience for all involved, even when the sleep deprived times are tough.

Anonymous said...

Two cute babes. Your two ,being so close in age, will share a lot of great memories for the rest of their lives.