Wordless Wednesday: Napping

A List: My New Job (SAHM)

With my last few jobs I written lists of what I do and don't like about the position to serve as a reminder of sorts because over time it's easy to forget or distort the good and the bad.  So now that I have a new "job" (staying at home with my six month old Jackson) I figured it was time to write a new list.

I like:

(1) I get to be with my son all day long, which means I have so many opportunities to have sweet moments with him. Plus I get to decide what he does (and learns) all day long. 

(2)  Being at home makes it SO much easier for our families and friends to be an integral part of Jackson's life.  Because I'm not interacting with people all day in the office and get lots of one-on-one time with Jackson, I'm glad to have family drop by or keep Jackson whenever is convenient for them--even last minute.  It's also easy for Jackson and me to go to my hometown for the day, so we can visit with my parents, sisters, great aunt, and his cousins. And of course, we have plenty of time for play dates with friends (Jackson watching older kids play:)

(3) That I don't have to "work" anymore nor do I have to figure out how to balance parenting and working (or how to get out the door every morning with a baby or pumping at work, etc.).  I didn't love my job and definitely don't miss the stress of my profession. I have no idea how I could focus for hours each day and do quality work with the lack of sleep I often experience.

(4) Because I'm with Jackson at home, Blake (who works at home) gets to spend more time with Jackson.  I think it's such a gift for Jackson to get so much time with both of his parents.  Plus sometimes I get to go to the pool or gym alone during the day!

(5) The dress code (pajamas, shorts, robe).

I don't like: Things that can be hard (I'm hesitant to say don't like because really this is my dream job that I've wanted for so long, and I'm so grateful to be able to do it and have never once wished I wasn't staying at home with Jackson (and Thatch!)):

(1) Loss of income.  I suspect that if I ever go back to "work," this would be 90% of the reason.

(2) Lack of breaks....at least with an office job you get a peaceful lunch break; you can quietly play on the internet or drink coffee or use the restroom.  I always liked the time in the morning before I started working when I'd sip coffee and check my email, blogs, and Facebook.  Now I'm doing that on my phone while I feed Jackson--often at some unreasonable time of night :)

(3) The constancy can be challenging, especially on the days Jackson doesn't nap or is unusually fussy.  Thankfully this has gotten much easier as he gets older, but there have been periods of time when Jackson didn't nap at all and Blake was out of town for days, and I was really overwhelmed.  I'm learning that when Blake is going to be gone for 3 days or longer, I probably need to arrange some sort of help for a few hours one day.

(4) It's really unpredictable.  I may think we've got an easy day ahead of us, and then I find myself starting the third load of laundry by 10 a.m. because we've had a poo-plosion and projectile vomitting all over the crib/rug/bedding/baby and Jackson refuses to nap longer than 30 minutes. 

p.s. I'm thankful for the time to blog! It's a great way to reflect.

Wordless Wednesday: First Thumb Sucking Now...

Wordless Wednesday: At Least Someone Likes the Baby Food

Wordless Wednesday: 5 Months Old

p.s. I'm thankful for friends, near and far.

Then & Now

Jackson's response to bananas

I began blogging in 2005 when I was stuck behind a desk from 8-6 every day and needed a little something to keep me entertained.  I wrote a lot about dating and relationships, funny work stories, and my nieces, and I often solicited advice from the blogosphere.  Once I quit my desk job to travel and do mission work for a year, my blogging frequency sharply declined.  Now I'm contemplating what to write about as I have free time at the computer, and I realize this week the biggest "issues" (for lack of a better descriptor) in my life have been introducing solids, working on a budget for our family, cleaning, and my son's sleep regression/getting sleep when I can.  Obviously these aren't super exciting or interesting, but I even find myself being drawn to blogs now that deal with these seemingly more mundane topics. 

My husband thinks I should start a new family blog, which would be a convenient way to share photos/videos and whatnot of our son with our (SEVEN) parents and other family and friends.  I haven't shared this blog link with his family and don't really want to for several reasons.  I sort of like that this blog tracks my life and the various seasons I've experienced (including when I met my husband and our dating), and I always enjoy reading the archives when I find a new blog I enjoy.  So for now I guess this blog will limp along until I get some blogging mojo or give it up.  Maybe I just need new blog friends :)  I miss my old blogging buddies as many have deleted their blogs or just quit writing; they kept me entertained.

p.s. I'm thankful for technology and being able to snap photographs and videos with my phone. 

I am

I am now 34 years old.  It's sort of hard to believe I'm in my mid-30s.  Weird.

I am thankful that the transition from swaddling is going fairly well.  Sunday morning Jackson (while double swaddled) rolled over onto his belly for the first time.  When I went into his room he grinned so big--like "look mom, see what I can do now?" 

I am grateful for my husband.  It's a joy to watch him be a daddy to our son and was fun to celebrate his first Father's Day.  I especially like watching him play with Jackson and seeing how differently we interact with him.

I am 5 pounds away from my pre-pregnancy weight.  I still can't wear my old dresses because they just fit weird now (maybe when I quit nursing they will?), but thankfully I received shopping money for my birthday.

I am still finding things to be stressed out about even though my life is about 92% less stressful than it was a year ago.  When I stop and consciously think about how wonderful my life is now (not that it wasn't before, but I don't have to go to work now!) I calm down, but it doesn't take long for my worrying to take over.  I obviously need to work on relaxing and submitting this sinful tendency to God.

I am glad some of our closest friends live behind us and that Jackson has regular playdates and lunches with his BFF Holden.  Holden's mom is pregnant with twin boys, so soon Jackson won't be the baby in the group.

I am a proud new owner of a Vitamix thanks to my mom.  I'm planning to try it tomorrow and am excited! In the last year I've burned through a regular blender and my mother's old Montel Williams contraption making smoothies.  It's definitely the best way I've found to get my fruits and veggies in each day, and I've missed having a way to make smoothies.

I am going to bed...11:15 is way too late for me now that I have an alarm clock named Jackson :)

p.s. I'm thankful that my mom, sister, and niece came up on Sunday to go to the market with Jackson and me.  We really enjoyed their company.

It's Hard to Know Where to Start

So much has changed in the last four months that it's hard to even know where to start this post.  There are so many things I could write about, and they are almost all related to my son and being a mom.  I guess that's because the first few months--especially the first 6 weeks or so of a baby's life are so consuming--especially for the mother if she's nursing (and if her husband is traveling a lot for work).  Since Jackson was eating every two hours for several weeks my life revolved around his feedings, which took about 45 minutes and sometimes longer.  And while my day still largely revolves around Jackson since I'm staying at home with him full-time, it now involves more playing, cooing, and interaction and not just feedings and naps. 

I've felt like being a parent has had such a steep learning curve.  Initially I was constantly texting my mom and sister, researching this or that on the internet, and just trying to figure various things out.  I'd guess 75% or more of the questions related to breastfeeding, which has been a very challenging experience, but something I haven't felt quite comfortable quitting.  I could write several posts on this topic, but I'm not really sure anyone (understandably) cares :) Thankfully I've finally found a groove with feeding Jackson, and he's thriving.  In fact, he's downright chunky, and I absolutely love it.  All in all, I'm finally gaining confidence, and I feel like I really know Jackson and his needs now.

I haven't missed working at all and am so grateful not to have the pressure of filing deadlines, urgent calls from clients, etc.  I guess the only things I miss about working are the hour long lunch break and having time to play on the computer (and blog)...which I guess isn't really missing work! And of course, I miss the paycheck and some of my coworkers.  Jackson and I had lunch with them last week though, so we're keeping in touch. 

Thankfully Jackson is a wonderful sleeper and has been sleeping 8-12 hours straight most nights for at least 6 weeks now (unless he breaks out of his swaddle, which means I reswaddle him and he's back asleep within 5 minutes).  And while I'm still not used to getting up at 5 a.m. that's the beauty of not working--I don't have to focus/concentrate so it's okay if I'm a little groggy plus I can nap when he does.  It's funny to me that I accomplish so much now by the time I use to get up for work (8 a.m.), and I'm not even "working."  Staying at home has also meant more time with my family and having the flexibility of day-trips to my hometown.  And since my husband works from home, I even get to hit the pool for a few hours here and there. 

p.s. I'm thankful that my husband's traveling has slowed down, and he's home much more now.

Our Son is Here!

Our son Jackson Ty joined us on Tuesday, February 7, and he's absolutely perfect.  The Lord has answered so many prayers over the last 16 days, and we have been overwhelmed with gratitude for the privilege of having this sweet baby.

Today was our actual due date, but I had progressed so far on my own in terms of dilation and effacement (without ever having felt a contraction) that we expected a fairly quick delivery which was problematic given that I was Group B Strep positive and required two doses of an antibiotic that needed to be administered at least 8 hours apart prior to delivery.  When we went to the doctor on Monday, February 6 I had dilated even further over the weekend (I was almost 5 cm), so the doctor suggested admission that night to begin the antibiotic and then breaking my water the next morning.  Since Group B Strep can be really dangerous for a newborn (and our 36 week ultrasound had shown that Jackson weighed around 7 lbs already) we liked this idea, so I went to work and tried to wrap things up in about 5 hours! My last day of work was suppose to be February 14, so needless to say, it was a whirlwind day at the office. 

I received my epidural the next morning and never felt any contractions until that afternoon  (and even then it was only pressure), and the only pain I felt was the last 30 minutes of pushing.  I threw up a good bit that day (any time I was on my back), but other than that it was an uneventful labor.  The resident said I had the easiest first time delivery he'd ever seen, and needless to say, I felt blessed by the (relatively) easy birth experience and even more blessed by Jackson's safe arrival and good health.  Jackson weighed 7 lbs 2 oz and has brown eyes and dark brown hair just like his daddy.  He has extremely long fingers and toes and loves to sleep.

Jackson had some respiratory issues that resolved within about 7 hours of birth (and later jaundice and weight loss that also resolved within a few days), and then we spent the next 7 days pretty much staring at him and thanking God constantly that he is ours.  And I've spent a lot of time thanking God for my husband too as he's been encouraging, supportive, and incredibly helpful.  Sharing this with him has been absolutely incredible.  The past 16 days, and really pregnancy too, have been the most powerful experience in my life of our Creator's perfection, plan, and goodness.

p.s. I'm thankful for our first non-medical outing with Jackson today (to Mellow Mushroom for lunch :)

Things You Shouldn't Say to a Pregnant Person

Pregnancy has been such an interesting experience for so many reasons--one of which is the change in how people treat me.  For the most part this has been a positive change.  For example, my coworkers and my mom frequently ask me how I feel and seem to genuinely care.  A few strangers have asked me when I'm due or congratulated me on expecting a child; I consider them brave as I'm always afraid of mistakenly assuming someone is pregnant which would be terrible for all involved!

And since my body has radically changed over the last 6 months it has received more attention from people than any other time in my life.  Fortunately most people are very kind and say the sort of things they probably think I would like to hear such as "You're all belly," "You're so tiny," etc.  The most negative comments I've received have been from two women who are overweight (and ironically carry their weight in their stomachs), and it's made me sort of dread being around one of them because I know that within five minutes of seeing me she's going to make some negative comment about my appearance.  It's a bit tempting to fire back with an equally ugly comment, particularly since these two individuals have been bigger than me for most of my pregnancy, and even when I'm not tempted to reply with snarkiness, I have no idea how to respond to such inappropriate, unkind comments--even though I may not necessarily disagree with them.  After all, just because something is true doesn't mean you should say it! In case you were wondering here are a few things you should NOT say to a pregnant woman (or any person for that matter):

"Gosh, you look like you've swollen up since I saw you last."

"I don't think you'll be able to wear that dress again."

"How much do you weigh now?" (if a close friend asked me this it's one thing but a casual friend in front of a large group = not very nice)

"You've gained weight all over." 

"That shirt sure is getting tight." 

"What are they feeding you?" (a man actually asked me this)

It's like good sense flies out the window because someone is with child! Thankfully these comments haven't really hurt my feelings so much as they have irked me a little, and regardless all of this is totally worth the immense privilege of having a son...this month! Only 21 more days until my due date and only 13 more days until my last day of work....what fun countdowns!

p.s. I'm thankful for lunch plans with friends.  Trying to do lots of socializing before Jackson arrives!