Friday, November 21, 2008

I Belong in the Service of the Queen (or at least to go on a date, right?)

I've not written about dating since my break up with Carter in June simply because there has been nothing to report. Sure I have a crush, which is exciting to me, but I'm 30 years old and probably need to stop gushing about the guy who has not asked me out (a.k.a. the crush). On the flip side, I struggle with pridefulness and thus not letting myself hope, so I think it's sort of good to crush someone (whose feelings only indicate friendship) and to hope (that maybe something more than friendship will emerge). I think there will be more on the crush next week; Accidentally Me and I may have a debate about our differences of opinion on the matter.

Speaking of Carter, he calls at least every two weeks it seems (which is less than he was calling just two months ago). I like Carter and think he's a great guy, but for whatever reason, I have almost no desire to talk to him. I've gotten in the habit of deliberately waiting days to call him back, hoping that he'll get the hint. I hope that doesn't seem ugly b/c Carter is important, but I don't want an hour long phone call/twice a month friendship with him. It makes me feel like my feelings are a bit light switch-ish, but I just don't see building some great friendship with an ex-boyfriend.

This week I went to lunch with two co-workers and met three men in passing. One was near my age; another was late 30s, and the third was 50+. Which one do you think texted my co-worker to inquire about me within minutes of us leaving the restaurant? Yep, you guessed it. The one closest in age with my father wanted to know if I were single, etc. This 53 year old seems to hate rap music, so my co-worker was going to text him back that my favorite song is the rap song about apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur, which now that I have checked it out, I realize is a great song. So fun.

My (younger) boss overheard this conversation and chimed in that his brother-in-law who I was reintroduced to (I knew him as a child) this week was also interested in me. All I know about the BIL is that he's 29 and lives in my hometown. Hmm.

Thankfully I'm feeling really patient with my lack of dating and whatnot, but part of me thinks I should be making more of an effort and doing online dating like everyone else....maybe in January.

And on that note, I'm going to get to work (from a cute coffeeshop in downtown Chatty). Hope your Friday is splendid!

p.s. I'm grateful for all of your votes on the last post; it was fun to read your thoughts and to hear from some new bloggers.


bMoles said...

In the third paragraph I think you meant to say, "One was late 20's; another was late 30's, and the third was near my age, 50+."


HappyascanB said...

apple bottom jeans, boots with the fur. . . . That song's on my iPod. It actually made it into my 13.1 mix for last weekend! LOVE IT!

Anonymous said...

Love this post...and I totally empathize with you on the dating thing. I do love the new song and hope that it has replaced "Off Da Hook" for rap song of the month ;)
BTW - I believe I am going to start a "sabbatical blog" now that I'm going to have so much free time.

Love you,

ella said...

When it rains, it pours.

DEb said...

"The whole club justa looking back at her....she hit the floor, next thing ya know, shawty got low low low low low low low low....them baggy sweat pants and the reeboks w/the straps..she turned around and gave that big bootay a smack, HEY..she it the thing ya know, shawty got low, low low low low low low....HAHAHHAHAHA...just had to finish that's my ringtone on my phone...I LOVE IT... and I love hearing how you're handling Carter're a strong woman!! Don't go for those 50+ year olds... yuck.

Aaron said...

29 and lives in C-town? heh

I know how you feel about that... ;)

Ally said...

Aaron: Yeah, and my boss does too. He assumed it was a foregone conclusion that I would not be interestesd:)

Deb: Nice work! I need your blog URL b/c your profile doens't link to it....

Ella: You're right.

Isabella: It has; unfortunately this rap song is not about Jesus (although Oliver thought I was saying it was earlier today and thought that was hilarious).

Bethany: I need to get it on my running playlist too.

Brian: Not nice! Go write a blog post!

Ys said...

I don't think you should feel too rushed to start the dating thing again. I know it's a cliche but these things do tend to happen when you're not expecting them to. Crushes are lots of fun too though ;)

Jennifer said...

I understand. As a 31 single one, a crush just makes me feel a little more alive and a little more hopeful that there are any guys who love Jesus left.

KennethSF said...

I've sure you've heard of the common saying about job search: The best time to look for a new job is when you don't need a job. I believe the same principle is true for dating. The best time to start dating (again) is when you don't feel you need a boyfriend to be happy. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck.

Ally said...

Kenneth: Thankfully I've not felt like I needed a boyfriend to be happy in years...that's just now here I look for my fufillment.

Jennifer: Exactly.

Ys: Crushes are fun!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Here I am 35 years old, definitely not getting any younger (because nobody is willing to lend me a Delorean) and single.

Single ... with one special medical needs child!

I have learned the hard way that God has someone out there for me and it's not my business to go seeking him out. God will give my boyfriend/future husband when He is ready because unlike me, who is truly a poor judge of character when it comes to the male species, God doesn't make mistakes. Ever!

The last relationship I had ended very, very badly just over two years ago. Mainly because I'm saved and he thinks he's his own god.

I forgave him (because I'm a Christian and only for that reason) and he'd call every now and then to ask how Boy Wonder was doing. Then he's started calling more and more frequently and is now averaging around three calls per week (I wrote a post about it to vent). If I want to get him off the phone, I just start preaching about how he's going to hell and how long eternity is. Freaks him out every time!

Rambling much? Apologies.

Ally, you know what God wants for you. Trust Him with it and it'll all work out. You don't have to do the internet dating thing. God knows all and he has everything in the universe at His disposal. He'll bring the right guy into your life when He knows you're ready.

Enjoy the crush though. The Bible says nothing about not being allowed to have a crush (unless the object of your crush belongs to someone else). Crushes are fun. Even for those over the age of thirty!

Okay, I'm done hijacking your blog now.

TC said...

I don't think you should EVER be too old to have a crush. Crushes are fun. We all deserve some fun. And sure, it's better when crushes are realities, but for awhile, they are good. Enjoy it for now :)

TC said...

Re: Carter... do you think he calls out of guilt? Or because he genuinely wants to be friends with you? Or because he misses you? Seems a little weird that you two are on such a different page.

B said...

Ally I say crush away!!! it's good to feel that way about someone and it's harmless and who knows what may happen

Ally said...

Kylie: Hijack away! I always enjoy reading your thoughts, and I think you're on the right track:) Thanks for your wisdom!

TC: I'm not sure why he calls. He doesn't have as many close friends as I do, and I think I'm probably an easy person for him to share with; so it may be b/c I'm one of his closer friends?

B: So long as I keep it in proper perspective, I think you're exactly right!