Would I Recommend Match?

Bone posed this question earlier this week in a comment, so here goes it.

My friend wrote the following about his experience on Match: "I would compare it to searching for a slice of hot pizza in a pasture. There's always a chance you'll find one but you're more likely to run into a thousand cow pies first!" Based on my three weeks (and a ton of hours) on Match, I'd have to agree.

Match reports that my profile has been viewed 2,278 times, which is sort of creepy. I've have read and deleted over 100 e-mails without responding (but for at least half of those I read their profile). Received a lot of "winks." I'd guesstimate that I have responded to less than 25 men, including one very attractive guy in Atlanta who wrote me three times because he was dumbfounded that I didn't respond to his emails ("I am surprised you did not write me back. Not to be cocky at all, but I get so many nice compliments about my profile. I would of thought you would of found it very appealing."). I could tell my lack of reply was making his head hurt, so I finally wrote back and explained why I wasn't interested.

I think that if I were not looking for a Christian whose faith is similar to mine, my Match experience would be very different and more positive. I'm ruling out all other faiths or lack thereof from the get-go--plus I generally will not respond to a man who indicates in his "My Date" section that he does not care what faith a prospective date is. I realize that may seem narrow, but if a man is willing to marry someone who doesn't share his faith then we believe different things about marriage and scripture. A lot of my e-mails back and forth with guys has been fleshing out their faith because in the South most people consider themselves a Christian, and it can mean anything from "I was raised by Baptist parents but have never personally practiced any religion" to "I'm a good person" (not what I'm looking for, btw) to "holy roller."

Of course, faith and religion are better discussed in person, and e-mail only makes the exchange of belief more cumbersome. But most of the guys I'm corresponding with live in ATL, Nashville, or Knoxville, so it's not like we can just grab a cup of coffee and chat. So in short, if you're fairly open and not looking for someone as specific as I am (you know, a Christian faith like mine, 28-37, athletic/fit, playful, preferably really tall, educated, decent writer, funny, intelligent, and so forth) then I'd recommend Match. And really, what can it hurt? One month costs $22, and there's a few guys I'd consider meeting. One has asked to take me out, but I'm sort of dragging my feet. I think I just need to make myself do it. It's hard to get excited about someone on a computer screen, I guess.

In other news, I made cupcakes tonight for a friend's birthday. I used a Betty Crocker fudge chocolate box mix because I worked late, and I must say....from scratch is really better than this box mix. The peanut butter frosting was yummy (Cream 1 cup of creamy Jif with a stick of butter; slowly add 2 1/2 cups of powdered sugar; at the end add about 3 tablespoons of milk or cream).

p.s. I am SO thankful for the sunshine today...and that I have a job where I can put on my running clothes at 3:45 and go for a 4 mile run. My boss didn't even blink when I came in covered in sweat; he just started telling me about some research he needs.

Really really wanna zigazig ha.

This was a fun exercise to get my mind working this rainy Monday morning. Hope your day is off to a more productive start!

I am…glad the sun came out for two hours late yesterday.
I think…more than I should about things I shouldn’t and probably less than I should about other things.
I know…that I have a ridiculously easy and blessed life.
I want…more despite that knowledge.
I have…a lot of recipes I want to try.
I wish…I had a trust fund and could just volunteer, bake, read, write, send people packages, and do whatever else strikes my fancy.
I hate…how broken and sinful we are.
I miss…having a best friend who lives in the same place I do.
I fear…that God’s plan might be really different from mine and that I might not like it.
I feel…relatively content.
I hear…traffic.
I smell…my gum.
I regret...very little if anything.
I love…my nieces.
I care…almost inexplicably for some people.
I always…have more ideas.
I am not…perfect.
I believe…in miracles.
I dance…poorly and infrequently.
I sing…a lot despite a severe lack of talent.

I write…some of my prayers in my journal.
I win...word games a lot.
I lose…patience with adults more than I wish I did.
I never…want to be depressed again..
I listen…half-heartedly sometimes.
I can usually be found…multi-tasking.
I’m scared of…roaches.
I read…too much on the internet.
I forget…a lot, which is why I take notes.
I just…want what I want when I want it.
I am happy about…the fact that spring weather has to almost be here.

Feel free to do this meme I found on Sparkel's blog.

p.s. I'm grateful for my friend's birthday party at the skating rink this Saturday. So excited!

"I'm on a mission, you better just listen"

TC's comment as to whether Oliver and I are stuck at friends reminded me that I hadn't really updated the blog-world about that situation. And really there's not that much to say, although I guess my close friends have perhaps heard otherwise from me at times. So the bottom line is that there's been no discussion between Oliver and me about dating. We don't hang out as much as we did pre-dating (which was a lot) but see each other/e-mail/talk regularly.

I realized a few weeks ago that I was harboring some bitterness toward Oliver (and God) about the entire situation, wondering why Oliver ever asked me out; why I felt a peace about dating him when it wasn't going to work out; what changed in the week between "I want to pursue you" and lets not date; what am I suppose to learn from this and how is God using it for my good, etc. And I also have had a strong intuition that Oliver wasn't being completely honest with me, which I think bothered me even more because we were friends--not just two random people who dated for 5 weeks. And I found out last weekend (from a mutual friend who flat-out asked him what happened on his trip home) that my intuition was correct and that there was more to the story than he shared with me. While I wish he had been completely honest with me, I'm sort of relieved that my intuition was spot-on and that I know the truth and now feel more free to let it go (and not wonder what piece of the puzzle I might be missing). And I feel a bit lame that I'm still talking about a guy I dated for like a month.

Asides: I hate it when men write on their Match profiles that they are looking for a "princess" or "someone to spoil." Should I reply to a man who has a cat....and has several profile photos that include said cat? Otherwise he seems great (well except for that one other photograph...which include him and a corvette).

And here's the link for yummy chocolate cupcakes (I only did parts 1 and 2 and added crushed up Hershey's bars instead of semi-sweet chips) and Oreo cream cheese frosting.

p.s. I'm grateful that rainy weather feels like permission to lounge around more than usual. See I'm trying to find an upside to the no-sunshine forecast.....And yeah, it's FRIDAY!!

Yo, VIP, Let's kick it

So just as I was crawling out of my funk, I managed to get sick. BUT not before I spent almost five sunshine-filled hours in the park on Saturday, grilling hot dogs/brats and playing kickball. And I tried two new yummy recipes....chocolate cupcakes with Oreo cream cheese frosting.

My nasty cough is fortunately fading, and I haven't had a non-stop coughing fit since Monday night. You know it's bad when you're sore from coughing. Unfortunately the excessive coughing does not seem to have resulted in more defined abs....I'm sure the box of Samoas didn't help, but I was too sick to go buy proper meals....

Random updates:

I'm going on my first mission trip this summer. Our group, which includes a handful from my church, will visit a small village in Nicaragua for a week; last year the group built a roof for the church, helped plan/participate in worship services, loved on and played with children, and provided/cooked meals. We're meeting this Sunday to begin planning what we'll be doing this summer; it mainly depends on what the village's most pressing needs are (as well as the skills of the members of our team). I booked my flight for a week earlier than the rest of the group and have found a Spanish school that can provide me with a tutor who can teach me the vocabulary, etc. for whatever I'll be doing (i.e. construction, medical, etc.) and teach me about the history and culture of Nicaragua. My Spanish is very rusty, but I think four hours/day for a week will help bring me up to speed so I can avoid using a translator.

I have two more weeks of a one month membership on Match. Nothing exciting to report. I'm probably too narrow, but why would a grown man write "how r u?" in an e-mail? Regardless of how great his profile seems, I just can't get over that lame initial impression. I'm trying to talk myself into being willing to meet a guy who is a vegetarian. Fortunately there is one guy I'm corresponding with who I might actually want to meet (without mental self-coercion), and AM he's from Chi-town.

p.s. I'm grateful for the extra hour of daylight after work. I have more energy already.

Sugar is Sweet

I've gotten back into the swing of baking. I've discovered some ridiculous blogs with delicious recipes that I MUST try. My nieces and I made yummy strawberry cupcakes with strawberry frosting for Valentine's, using my former secretary's recipe; I think it's just about as good as it's going to get for a strawberry/strawberry combo. Therein lies the issue: even a fantastic strawberry cupcake cannot compete with chocolate, white chocolate, or peanut butter. To mix it up and try more new stuff, I dipped some of the cupcakes (and some marshmallows and strawberries) in chocolate and white chocolate. My nieces thought that was fun, and it was pretty good to eat too. I also tore up some cupcakes, mixed them with frosting to make a ball, chilled, and then dipped in chocolate to make cake truffles. I didn't measure anything, and they were too moist; but it's a fun idea to try some other time.

I've also recently tried another new frosting recipe--a basic chocolate ganache but with powdered sugar and butter. Unfortunately the sugar wasn't enough to outweigh the bitterness of the Ghiradelli bittersweet (dark) chocolate, so I wasn't a huge fan (although I still managed to eat a few). I paired it with a butter cupcake, which was yummy and straight out of a Betty Crocker box. My friends who are regular dark chocolate eaters really liked them.

Now I'm looking for my next adventure. Oh side note: don't eat frosting, cake mix, and a few cupcakes and then go to the gym to do a high intensity interval workout (read: sprinting as fast as you can). I felt so lucky to get out of the gym without getting sick. It must be my advancing years and/or sprinting because I've always been able to go running after eating most anything. Speaking of working out, if you're into fitness, check out my new favorite blog: Fitness Black Book. I could really do without the scantily clad and tacky model images; otherwise the site has been helpful in giving me some new ideas insofar as my workouts.

My snow day was well used. I spent a few hours at Starbucks, reading Scripture and doing part of a Bible study and praying (I know that sounds weird to do at Starbucks, but sometimes I write my prayers out and somehow often focus better in a coffeehouse than at home). Later I passed on the gym and spent some more time reading the Bible--and not just reading chapter after chapter but instead really spending a lot of time in chapter 5 of Galatians. I'm going to read it every day this week and meditate on it instead of just reading it and moving on.

In short, my winter funk is reminding me of how much I need the Lord and how I need to press in even when I don't want to....

p.s. I'm thankful for my coworker who brought back a dozen cupcakes from my favorite cupcake bakery in Nashville today! Very sweet of her and a lovely surprise. I only ate 2 and a 1/2, and this time it didn't ruin my workout afterward :)

Snow Day

Last night I decided that today would be a "snow day" for me, meaning an unexpected day off from work (since there is absolutely no snow in Chattanooga). Yesterday was a hard day. I didn't want to go to church but made myself, largely because I was supposed to go out to lunch with some friends (and their brother and sister-in-law who were visiting) afterward and a little because I knew I needed to go.

My heart is so fickle. I spent Friday night, Saturday morning, and Sunday night at "Inquirers Fellowship" at my church, which is a series of classes you have to attend before joining our church. As I sat in the class Saturday morning, I was so glad to be in the Word and learning more about God. But I had a conversation Saturday afternoon that reminded me that I was pretty irritated with God and how fallen the world is. It's silly, but hearing how another "strong Christian guy" mistreated one of my friends in a dating relationship just made me mad at God and how hard relationships are. And then I realized that I had developed some expectations of God because I've been "so good" in the dating arena. Yuck.

Saturday night was suppose to be a fun night with my neighbor and Oliver, but it ended up being not fun and a lot of serious conversation (about my neighbor's struggles). I think it made my "funk" even deeper--in part because we only talked about my neighbor, and I felt very unloved--as if neither of them care about what is going on with me (as neither asked me anything about me) and that feeling reminded me of how selfish and self-centered I am. And then I realized that I really need a best friend in Chattanooga. I'm blessed with some great friends here but not a go-to best friend, and I miss that and need it.

But more than that I need my heart to be softened to the Lord and to spend some time with Him. So today I'm resting, spending time in prayer and the Word, and enjoying the "snow."

p.s. I'm grateful for the latte I will soon be enjoying and job flexibility.

I Wonder....

why I struggle to focus so much of the time yet was able to read The Associate (John Grisham's newest book) Wednesday night. Regardless I'm so glad that I finally read an entire book! Only my second completed book of this year.

how it is that until today I had never known the deliciousness that is a warm white chocolate raspberry scone. And how this same bakery also sold me a dry, hard chocolate chip cookie that was seriously lacking in chocolate chips.

what I'll be doing this time next year.

if I will go on a date this year.

if I'll ever get around to writing a post about sacrifice. It's been on my mind a lot this week, but I've not been feeling very blog-a-rific...or focused.

I wonder what you're wondering.

how I missed World Nutella Day. I plan to celebrate late by creating some delicious baked good containing the yummy Nutella. I was pretty enamored with Nutella during my travels in Greece--mainly in the form of white chocolate & Nutella crepes.

if this economic "stimulus" package is just a bad joke.

if God will ever get e-mail. Seriously sometimes it'd be nice to just get clear answers on what I should do.

what my youngest niece will be like in ten years (she's five now).

if most people's "I wonder" list would be as self-centered as mine.

p.s. I'm grateful that I don't have to wonder about really serious things like where my next meal will come from, how I'll provide for my family, or my health. Silly lists and thoughts like these remind me of how incredibly blessed I am.

Products!

I'm not really a product girl, but I like fun products that don't cost a lot (I love a good deal). I have long time favorites like Aquaphor (for my lips), Extra peppermint gum, and Tree Hut Shea Body Butter (Brazilian Nut or Ginger)--which I can sometimes find at Walmart or Kroger, and I've recently discovered some new favorites and would welcome comments about any of the good buys you guys have discovered.

Bi-Lo is a grocery store that's common here, and I've learned that I like its store brand brown sugar and maple syrup oatmeal (usually $1.50) more than the $3 (with a coupon) oatmeal (Quaker Simple Harvest) that I usually buy. The highlighting I subject my hair to has rendered a heavier conditioner necessary, and I now love Neutrogena Triple Moisture Daily Deep Conditioner (but only use it on the bottom half of my hair since it's so moisturizing). I'm also a big fan of Snickers Marathon Caramel Nut Rush bars (tastes like real chocolate, 21 grams of protein, 10 grams of fiber, and is marketed as a low GI food) for when I need something quick to eat--and unlike some of the other protein bars that taste good, they keep me full. I also like my new water bottle ("My glass is always half full.") from Bath & Body Works courtesy of my friend Sara.


p.s. I'm grateful that my sweet nieces are coming to stay with me this Friday & Saturday. I'm taking them to IMAX and to ride the carousel in the park two blocks away; we're making strawberry cupcakes (subject to their approval) for VD; and hopefully having a wii tennis tournament and dinner with some of my friends. Should be a blast.


p.p.s. I'm also thankful that the sun finally came out and brought warm weather with it, which meant croquet and a really fun game of kickball in the park.

Trainers, Books, and Hot Peanut Butter

Since my contribution to the Super Bowl party Sunday night was suppose to be sweet, I tried a new recipe from a fun website (Nosh with Me) I stumbled upon on Saturday. I ended up making Marshmallow Crunch Brownies. I decided the actual brownie layer didn't need to be homemade and opted for the Ghiradelli Double Chocolate Chip mix; I've tried several homemade brownie recipes, and none have been significantly better than the box--so I save myself the time and money. Anyway it's a combo of brownies, marshmallows, peanut butter, milk chocolate, and Rice Krispies. Needless to say, it's rich and yummy. I'd give it 4.2 stars out of 5. I think it might would have scored higher if I hadn't licked all of the bowls and eaten so much as I baked.

I'm glad for February. January wasn't the best month ever and I'm tired of feeling moody and less than 100%. The upside has been that I have succeeded so far with my resolution not to consume diet sodas. I also gave up sweets for two weeks, which was sort of nice. I liked not having the energy/blood sugar drops that I sometimes experience after eating goodies.

Another resolution was to read two books a month. I still need to read the last 100 pages of Eat, Pray, Love and am struggling to get excited about it (I started this book last summer!). It's sort of like reading a middle aged stranger's journal, and I think 200 pages was just enough of that for me. I want the next book I read to be much better. Any suggestions?

I've learned some new things from my trainer and definitely worked out harder than I would on my own, but all in all I've been pretty underwhelmed by the experience. I've wondered if I should sit down with my trainer and talk about it, but since I only have 4 or 5 more sessions I may not bother. I think I will ask if my remaining sessions can be used in 30 minute segments since we should be able to do what I need to in that amount of time. I think he is used to working out with people who aren't serious and chit-chat and whine, so I often finish fairly early and end up doing cardio or more abs--and I can do cardio on my own and don't need to do 15 minutes of abs. Last time we did 4 or 5 sets of each exercise (because I completed everything much more quickly than he'd anticipated) and that just seems inefficient to me. Three weeks ago he reviewed my diet (and you guys can guess how poor it was, especially given the holidays; it has since improved:) and said it was fine and that I should eat 2000-2200 calories a day to meet my goal (of losing 5-10 lbs and decreasing my body fat), which I can't figure out.

He pushes eating 6 times a day, which I had been trying until last week....but I've concluded that eating 6 "meals" a day just doesn't work for me. It takes way too much thinking about food, and it sort of rendered me obsessed with eating/food/planning my next meal. Not healthy. And I've read articles and studies that suggest that it doesn't really make a substantial difference in your metabolism either. So I'm back to 3 squares a day and liking it much better (and thinking about eating a lot less).

p.s. I'm grateful that my love of running and weight lifting and experimenting in the gym (I did my first real high intensity interval training (HIIT) yesterday and loved it in that weird sort of I almost feel sick way) sort of helps balance my love of hot peanut butter mixed with milk chocolate and homemade Italian cream cake and whatnot.

It's Not About Me

I began college at a liberal arts college, and I expected an "open minded" (read: liberal) environment of free thinkers. Instead I was surrounded by a lot of conservative Christians, and while I wasn't opposed to Christianity (or any other religion), I was agnostic--I didn't know if there was a God and didn't care to take the time to figure it out.

And as I observed those around me and their "virgin clubs," refusal to discuss the Bible in class (b/c it wasn't "literature to be discussed and dissected"), objections to required reading that referenced premarital sex, and the like, I determined that Christianity was about what I was not allowed to do. Not surprisingly it was unappealing to me, and I was certain that if I was ever going to seriously consider Christianity I needed to wait at least until I was at least out of college (b/c sex, drinking, etc. were entirely too fun).

I'm pretty sure it never occurred to me that Christianity isn't about me (no surprise there...I was as self-centered then as I am now)--that the Bible isn't about me or a set of moral principles I need to follow to be an adherent of the faith. As Tim Keller points out--there are only two ways to read the Bible: either as basically being about me or about Jesus. When I read it through the lense of being about me it can be boiled down to what I must do, and "as only principles of living, the Bible is a crushing burden." It's just an exhausting list of things I should and should not do.

Years later I slowly realized that the Bible isn't about me or what I must do; it's the story of what Jesus has done. "The Bible is not primarily a 'book of virtues.' It is the story of how God is redeeming us through Jesus Christ." As now that I read Scripture through this perspective, a weight is lifted. I'm so overcome by Christ's generosity--giving up everything for me on the cross--that I want to give myself, my money, and my time away. And as I reflect on His forgiveness and grace, I want to extend it to others. But in order to receive God's acceptance I don't have to do those things. Instead the gospel is "I am accepted by God through the work of Jesus Christ--therefore I obey."

Thus one of my wishes for those who aren't Christians is that they would at least understand what the gospel is--and not reject it as I did on the basis of a false premise. Christianity isn't morality. Christianity isn't about you or me. Grace cannot be earned. You don't have to do anything except believe (which I know isn't easy...it took years for me to take that leap of faith).

If you're interested in a fairly short summary of the gospel (133 short pages), check out The Prodigal God.

*All of the quotes are from Tim Keller ("Gospel Christianity" Bible study and The Prodigal God).
p.s. I'm grateful for two days of sunshine, being less sick today than yesterday, new songs, a fun Super Bowl party with friends, new recipes, and getting to see my students at PTM last week.