Sunday, January 28, 2007

Such a Fun Weekend!!

I had such a wonderful weekend! It started with a fantastic dinner at Paul's, a restaurant I'd never tried but heard good things about. Despite our reservations, we had to wait 45 minutes, which was annoying but ended up being worth the wait. Two apple martinis and the best roll I've ever had (fried lobster roll wrapped with a thin slice of filet mignon) later Ozzy, Hawthorne (another law school classmate), and I were off to MJQ to celebrate Ozzy's friend's birthday. I'd never heard of MJQ, and it's in an area of Atlanta that I only visit to swing through Krispy Kreme when the hot light is on.

MJQ was...well the first words out of Ozzy's mouth is "This is so 8 Mile." Although I've not seen 8 Mile (Eminem irritates me too much), I imagine that's sort of an apt description. The place is all cement (a former parking garage); the walls are covered in graffiti and cool art; they don't take credit cards; don't make martinis; and our sweaters, button-ups, and such didn't fit in. And the music is pretty tough to dance to--at least for me; I asked someone what you would call that kind of music (it wasn't exactly rap the entire time), and I was told that it's "the real hip-hop." We got to see some break-dancers, rappers, and bling bling jewelry. Oh, I smelled a lot of weed and something else too, but I guess I'm too much of a novice to know what it was. Needless to say it was a very entertaining night, and while I won't go back to MJQ, I'm glad to have checked it out.

Saturday night was an interesting cultural experience as well. A week ago I committed to going to a benefit concert with a bunch of people--without even checking out the group that was playing. So it ended up being a folk band called Eddie from Ohio, and they were pretty good and funny. But the real treat was the opening performance--the Morehouse College Glee Club was great and sang some really cool African spirituals. Oh, the guy who sat beside me at the concert was someone (I'm not sure about attraction; it's a maybe), or at least the kind of guy, I'd like to date. We had great conversations about traveling (he's been to all sorts of places I want to visit), our families, education, and whatnot. Unfortunately he's dating someone (interestingly he met her on Match, and it's long distance).

So Sunday Dale and I firmed up plans and met for an early dinner. I enjoyed our time together, and he seems really nice. But no dice on another date. So I guess that means that on my dating scale, the date gets a 4.9 (as high as you can get with no chance of a future date). Among other things, I left the date knowing entirely too much (unsolicited) about Dale's last relationship and his ex-girlfriend, which ended 8 months ago. Seemed like he had still had some pretty open wounds. He also reminded me a little too much of my ex-fiance; I think it was his particular Southern accent. Anyway, he's a nice guy, and I tried something new and yummy--coconut shrimp rolls (with a side of fries and honey mustard:).

So when I got home I had an e-mail from Dale. It seems like he isn't overly interested and/or picked up on my disinterest. He wrote that he hoped my trip back to Macon went well; it was nice to meet me; that he hopes we can keep in touch and get to know one another better and try to get together occasionally. I'm thinking the best response might be a short e-mail that says "Thanks for dinner. It was nice meeting you, and I hope you have a great week." Ok, that's lame. I just want to be nice & appreciative, but at the same time, make it clear that I'm not interested in keeping in touch or going out again. I feel like not responding isn't very nice, but perhaps that's the best option. I'd particularly appreciate guys' perspective on this one.

19 comments:

Flat Coke and Flies said...

I'm not a guy but I think your response email is very "take the high road."

Glad you had such a good weekend. Great picture!

Croaker said...

Well to be accurate, there are mostly just strip clubs on 8 Mile (the road that is). But I get the reference and kinda resent it actually. My Detroit pride must be sticking out.

Ally said...

FC&F: I guess I just need to figure out what exactly to write. I'm thinking short and sweet.

Croaker: Oh, to be honest, I had no idea where or really what 8 Mile is, so I certainly didn't intend to offend anyone. That was just Oz's offhand remark as we entered this place--because it seemed "gangsta" like Eminem seems to try to be, and we only know the term 8 Mile because of him.

allbilly said...

I always think honesty is the best....and i like self deprecation. .....so i'd tell him it seemed to me that I wasn't his type but that we were both nice people...i enjoyed the dinner and appreciate his views (if you do...)..but it just wasn't a love connection. good luck on match and maybe you and ole whatshername can work it out? ? (i think he deserves to know he talked way too much about ex. )

Is that argumentative?

and i love the description of the underground type joint. I could just picture how CRACK-ah ass outta place you wuz. lol.

Maybe they need a "no yuppies allowed" sticker on the door.

Still just me said...

You are right about Dale. Big red flags when they talk about the ex.

Still just me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GreenLineBoy said...

I've always felt that an email is the appropriate thing to do. Although the rules of the online world are different. It's totally acceptable to not email him back. But I know you're not that kind of girl.

It's ok, and safe, to be very bland in your email. There's no reason to say why you're not interested or why you think he's not interested. I'd just say that you had a nice time, thanks for dinner and wish him well on his search on Match. I think that last one is the kicker. It makes it clear you aren't interested. And I don't think it's offensive, since pretty much everyone who tries Match misses more than they hit. You don't want him to waste any time pursuing you if you're not interested.

But after that, if he writes again, don't respond.

The Urban Urchins said...

I think that's an appropriate email--if he's at all aware, he'll get the subtext. As for the ex gf thing, big red flag. Its okay to mention an ex, and when they broke up, but any more information on the relationship suggests they are still *in* it, at some level.

Ally said...

Billy: No, that's not argumentative:) I sort of want to give the guy a heads up that he talked about his ex entirely too much, but at the same time, I don't want to over-step. Oh as for the club/no yuppies, I think the bouncer tried to warn me when he replied to something I said (I don't remember) with "This ain't no carnival."

Still Just Me: Agreed

Greenlineboy: I think "Good luck searching on Match" is a perfect closing line. And I agree that if someone can't pick up on what I mean by that, he doesn't warrant a follow-up e-mail.

Anonymous said...

I think GLB is right in the way you should be handled. Dr. RJJ

Ally said...

Urban Urchins: Dale's unsolicited comments about his ex-girlfriend revealed that he was still VERY hurt by the break-up. I could hear the emotion in his voice and see it on his face, and it was clear that he still devotes a LOT of thought to her. I hate that it's so hard for him, but I agree that's a huge red flag--and a first date deal breaker.

Anonymous said...

I think GLB has the right idea. Dr. RJJ

Allen Madding said...

Wow, I think I would have even felt a bit uncomfotable at MJQ, geez. No Martinis!? How uncivilized! Don't take plastic? Hmm, don't pay taxes either, huh? :)

I think your idea with the one line short and sweet email is good. I would let him figure out his fopaus on his own. And, like has already been suggested, if you get any other email or calls, don't respond, don't answer.

Glad you had a good weekend!

brookem said...

Sounds like you had a fun weekend! I like the pictures:)
I agree with your idea, and GLB- something short and to the point. I'd feel bad not writing back either. So I think you have a good plan.

Anonymous said...

Dale, Dale,
You're just not ally's male

A mere 4.9
From where ally sits, thats not too fine.

You talk about the X
Did you even know Ally's last boyfriend's name was Rex?

Go home & lick your wounds
Be glad not to have been a total baffon.

Aaron said...

I wonder if it was a fun weekend before you "smelled a lot of weed"? But that's okay, I'm sure you didn't inhale. :P

(And I noticed you NEVER have a good time doing anything unless "yummy" food is involved in any capacity. How do you manage to stay so thin?)

Trixie said...

a short email thanking him for dinner is good. just make it short and don't try to allude to a next date, so that he won't get the wrong impression.

the ex gf part is a red flag... he doesn't seem over it and his next relationship could be the rebound.

great pictures! :)

ella w. said...

I agree with GLB on the last line being somewhere on the lines of "good luck on match!" You definitely do not want to be the rebound girl.

Who is this the anonymous poet?

Ally said...

Dr. RJJ: I agree.

Allen: A surprising number of places around here don't make martinis! Shame!

Brookem: Such a fun weekend! I'm glad you did too.

Anon: I know who you are, and I love your "blogetry":)

Aaron: I do enjoy food-a lot. At least I ran and walked on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Plus I try to limit my food consumption to yummy food only:) Oh, and the fun weekend began when I left work at 3:00--so before any accidental weed/crack/whatever it was I smelled inhalation.

Trixie: Agreed. I definitely won't allude to any future plans.

Ella: Wishing him luck in his search should certainly tell him that his search can't end with me:) Plus his e-mail led me to believe he already thinks that. Oh, I think the poet wants to maintain his anonymity; sorry.