My new date scoring system for ease of reference:
8-10: I hope he calls; another date would be fun.
5-7: I don't care if he calls, but if he does I'll go out again. After all, some people are nervous/not-themselves on first dates.
0-4: No way, no how, nowhere. If it was a 0, I wouldn't even return your phone calls and be nice about it because you must have been incredibly horrible. The rating of 0 has only been awarded once.
So the other weekend, I had to stick around Macon because I was coaching a local high school's mock trial team on Saturday from 10-1 (our team has since fallen through because they couldn't get enough students). It was a Friday night, and Aaron and I were chatting about his e-harmony adventures. I had gotten a free three day trial offer for Match.com, so I decided to put a profile up. Gosh, writing those things is time consuming. Aaron helped me fine-tune it, and voila, I was on Match.
And three days was enough. It's at least a part time job with the amount of time and effort that it requires. Plus I just don't think I'm going to meet the right person through online dating (that could be self-fulfilling prophecy though).
Of course, the men make it fairly easy to sort through their e-mails and profiles. 40 or older, shirtless pic, no photo, not a Christian/Protestant or Christian/other, 5'8 or shorter (especially since so many guys seem to add an inch or two), no college degree, or ultra-conservative = automatically cut
And after reading some e-mails, I didn't even need to look at the guy's profile. For example:
"You stopped by and didn't say hello.
That is not good.
You kind of hut my feelings."
Note: On Match, people can see when you view their profile. Hence his "hut" feelings. Did he really think this e-mail would get a response?
"Happy new year sweetie!!
I just wanted to say hi! (well ,that's not all, you are beautifull and interesting and i would love to read some words from you...)
Did you know that you already have a friend and a place to stay in Barcelona if you decide to come here for a visit?? ;)"
Note: Yes, he lives in Spain. I guess he missed my dating radius that certainly didn't exceed thousands of miles.
"I see you are looking for a gentleman who is honest and faithful, not afraid to hold hands or show affection. I will not boast abut being honest as you will find that out in time, as for the rest, I am. Let me know if you would like to chat more."
Note: I didn't say a word about wanting a gentleman or someone who is affectionate and wants to hold hands.
So after the three days of e-mails and winks and the end of the trial period, I only ended up responding to three guys. The one I was most interested in actually lives here, which is surprising since there are very few guys meeting my criteria in Macon on Match. I've already mentioned some of "Ken's" attractive traits that I could ascertain from Match and e-mails. One potential red flag was that he only had one photo, but I realize not everyone is the photo whore that I am. So we exchanged e-mails for a few days, and it was clear that Ken is very intelligent and educated. Oh, bonus points for no typos, misspellings, excellent grammar/commas usage, and some interesting book recommendations.
So he e-mailed me his number, and I called him the next day and we talked for three hours. Yes, three hours. We had some really interesting conversations. He told me he'd like to meet me, etc. and that he'd call me after my busy weekend to plan something. So he called last Monday night, and we talked for a long time again. This time I noticed something I'd picked up a little bit on the first time we talked; Ken is a talker like me, but he doesn't ask many questions. And he has a LOT to say. But no big deal since talking on the phone that long isn't most people's forte anyway. So he asked me to dinner for Thursday night, and we agreed to meet at a bar/restaurant at 8:00.
I almost cancelled because the preparation for next week's trial has required really long hours resulting in a lack of sleep and causing my already purple-ringed eyes to be even darker and bloodshot, but I decided to rally (and use extra concealer) and stick with the plan. So we actually arrived at the same time, and Ken was just as cute as his photo and dressed the way I like boys to dress. Conversation flowed easily, but he (again) just seemed to lack a genuine interest in me. For example, Ken asked me if I've ever been to NYC. I told him I was going in two weeks. Well, I quickly realized he wasn't asking because he was curious about my trip (he didn't really ask any questions about it)--but instead so he could tell me about his trip to NYC.
Granted, I ask a lot of questions, and I've been preparing witnesses the last two weeks and am in total question-asking mode. But I'll bet for every ten questions I asked, he asked one. And while I was talking, I kind of felt like he was just waiting for his next opportunity to talk. I guess I'm just used to guys wanting to get to know me on initial dates and seeming more genuine than Ken. Anyway, after two hours of talking we parted ways with a side hug and "we'll talk soon." My general feeling afterwards was kind of blah until I got home and watched Grey's:)
So...if he calls, I feel like I should give it one more date and try to keep an open mind. Would you? Maybe he was nervous and talking is how it manifests. Or maybe he's just really self-absorbed.
p.s. If you want to watch an incredibly mediocre movie, check out The Last Kiss.