"You're Like the Lotto"

I took Friday off from work, so that I could endure a hell worse than Walmart--moving. I'll spare you the details on how awful it was and how much my calves still hurt from climbing my stairs over 50 times. The morning started with my buddy Ivy driving the Uhaul for me back to my place. The idea of driving one of those trucks scares me despite the $50 worth of extra insurance I bought.

A few hours later my "day laborers" arrived. Several friends offered to help, but I sort of feel like I'm too old and make too much money (not for long:) to justify ruining anyone else's day. No amount of pizza and beer would have made moving all of my stuff down two narrow flights of stairs fun, plus I found out I could hire day laborers (and it includes workers' comp so I won't feel guilty about hurt backs, etc.) for $11.14/hour. The workers were late and finally arrived--one wearing what appeared to be black panty hose on his head. James and Kenyetta started off by asking me some basic questions. At one point James exclaimed that I was "like winning the lotto." I asked what that meant, and he explained that it was hard to find a woman like me who didn't have any children--and that you had to date an 18 year old usually to avoid them being a mom--and "18 year olds aren't that experienced." Hmm. Later Kenyetta said he has five children and asked if I could help him out with the back child support he owes.

Fortunately James was a hard worker, but his cohort was overweight and out of shape. So they took a quite a few breaks; one was to weigh themselves on my scales. James asked me how much I weighed, and I told him; then he noted that I "look a lot thicker than that." Gee thanks. Do you want a tip or not?

Even though I started boxing things up a week or two ago, I didn't have time to empty all of my drawers, etc. I should have at least boxed up my underwear drawer, but I forgot. So I'm standing there when they pull out my underwear drawer. Their eyes seem to enlarge, and later James calls me from downstairs. I go down to the truck, and he's holding a few Trojans in his hand. James says "I found these in your drawer [yes, my underwear drawer, which sort of makes me want to go wash my panties now], and I don't think you're going to be needing them." My first thought was "How do you know I don't have sex anymore?" But then James added that they expired in 2000! He was gracious enough to offer to throw them away for me, i.e. put them in his pocket for later use.

James and Kenyetta then wanted to play the "car game" in which they guessed which car in the parking lot was mine. They both guessed a silver Lexus SUV, and when I told them my car was the Toyota 4Runner, they instantly wanted to know why I didn't have rims. We then had an entirely too long conversation in which I explained numerous times in various ways that I'm not a rim (or car) person.

Toward the end of the afternoon, James told me that they were almost done with the "killing it room." I asked him what that meant, and he explained that he called the bedroom the "killing it room." He then said "I made your face turn red." Fun times.

Thankfully my brother-in-law Billy Bob drove the Uhaul for me and helped unpack it Saturday morning in about one hour. So all of my stuff, for the most part, is now at my father's house (yeah for free storage), and I'll be staying with various friends until my last day of work on May 9. I hope your weekend was more relaxing than mine!

p.s. I am thankful for my brother in law. He's strong and is such a good worker, and he's coaching my niece's adorable softball team.