Tuesday, January 06, 2009

When It Rains, It Pours

So we're finally going to Austin for that trial that was continued at the last minute back in November. I leave really early Saturday morning for a week. Work is crazy, and I can't possibly do everything that has been asked of me. Yesterday I had so much adrenaline pumping through me as I rushed about that I could see my arm shaking above the keyboard. And while it feels overwhelming and a bit miserable, I'm really glad that I'm going to get to sit through an entire trial next week from beginning to end and see what all goes into such complex litigation. Plus it's going to be lots of hours, and I'm paid by the hour:)

In addition to work craziness, Oliver returned to Chatty last week, and within two days I realized something was up with him. He was calling me almost every day, but he didn't make any plans with me for the weekend. It was sort of like a 180 from where we'd left things before Christmas.

Long story short, we finally talked on Monday and for various reasons, he no longer wanted to date. I told him I was disappointed in the situation but so grateful and glad that he was telling me all of this. The conversation felt like such a relief. Knowing is so much easier to me than wondering. I left the conversation feeling so grateful for Oliver and who he is and is trying to be and so glad that Christ is my center and not this (or any) relationship. I also felt tremendously loved by my faithful, praying friends who check in with me and pray for me and send me really cool packages in the mail to be waiting at my door before a not-fun conversation. God is so faithful.

p.s. I'm grateful for TC's latest post and her wishes for me. I think that I may have to steal the fabulous idea.

19 comments:

TC said...

Well, it sounds like something that hopefully Oliver can get past? I'm sorry he's struggling with it, and that it's affecting you and him.

Good luck with the trial! Hopefully things will go smoothly for you. Do all that you can, and at the end of the day, know that you have done that. Everything else is just over the top.

ps: Glad you enjoyed the post! Feel free to spread the love around! :)

KennethSF said...

Ah, unrequited love--it's like the road not taken, isn't it? It always makes one wonder what might have been. It's probably something Oliver never felt compelled to address because there was no need to. But seeking a connection with you requires that he comes to terms with those feelings one way or another. Don't worry. The stronger the storm, the quicker it passes--and the day is usually brighter afterward.

ella said...

I will repeat, "Christian dating confuses me"! :p

anne said...

I kinda took your advice and skipped it, I hope there are no hard feelings.

I will say it is NICE to have an out of town trial not only to learn but the money, man, the money.

Scotty said...

I think its a good thing the two of you talked about it :)

Amy said...

When times get rough and feel overwhelming I always remind myself of my mom's favorite quote that she recites to me often..."Life is not about learning how to survive the storm, it's about learning to dance in the rain."

Isabella said...

Praying for you!
Oh and loved the post by TC...very cool idea.

B said...

at least he is honest most guys can't explore their feelings... I am being very nice with my choice of words!

I am a result of my experiences- I don't trust men ( or maybe I wish to say boys) :)

Kimberly said...

Yuck, not fun. I'm glad you gave him the space to work through that...always important. It's cool that he was honest. I know I am always learning how to love people wtih open arms and not cling to tightly or get too attached to my timeline of how things are "supposed" to go.

Kimberly said...

sorry for my grammatical errors. "cling TOO tightly."

Jennifer said...

With the potential for you two getting together, Satan probably feels very threatened. And will attack wherever he sees an opportunity. He's going to anything he can to ruin the glory you two are already bringing to God in how your relationship has progressed so far.

Just keep praying for Oliver, for ya'll's relationship to glorify God, and that's the best attack you can take.

(And I'll add to the prayers too. That'll show Satan.)

And if you think Christian dating is confusing from the outside... It's not any less confusing when you're a participant!!

notyourplainjane said...

I have to say that all dating can be confusing.

It's always better to have everything on the table than to be wondering!

Thomas said...

I think Oliver is doing a great service by telling you what he is feeling. The potential beginning of a relationship can be an exciting time. But it also forces you to sweep residual feelings from previous relationships that may have just been hanging around because a person was single and has not been forced to think these thought through.

Jennifer said...

I think the spiritual warfare thing was right on girl. When I first got married I had horrible and graphic nightmares of a number of exes. It really screwed with my head and took a while for the dreams to stop. It sounds like Oliver is really trying to overcome whatever it is that he needs to - and how cool that he can talk to you about what he is really thinking and feeling. That is very cool.

And....Whoohoo, Austin! (o: If you have any down time (which it sounds like you won't) I would love to drive up there and meet you! Have a safe trip girl!

browneyedgirlie said...

New reader here - found you through Brandy's post today.

Wanted to tell you how much I can relate to your Top 5 Bests in 2008 - in pretty much every area.

I shall be back to read more...it is so nice knowing I'm not alone in feeling like it's best to wait.

Still just me said...

If you like BBQ, you have to stop by Stubb's while you are in Austin. Also, don't forget San Antonio is just a short jump up the interstate. The riverwalk is beautiful at night.

I really wish I were going with you!

Flat Coke and Flies said...

I still say Oliver is a keeper. This is just a little bump in the road for him. I think he is trying to get everything cleared up in his mind before dedicating EVERYTHING to you. He doesn't want any cloudiness and until he gets past HER, it wouldn't be fair to you. But I assure you the minute he says she has vanished from his subconscious/thoughts, it will be the last you've heard of it. Sometimes I wish we could process like men.

Rachel said...

It's good that he's being honest with you. It sounds as if he's trying to "get past his demons," so to speak.

jennifer said...

I like this guy. He sounds so honest and straightfoward. I'm glad you're not in the dark about his "off-ness."

Have fun on your work trip - log lots of hours!