Thursday, March 01, 2007

Ex-boyfriend Texts

My evening of work while watching Law & Order SVU was interrupted by a random text from an ex who lives nearby.

Him: "You've seemed so tense/stressed the past couple of times we've talked. Would you like me to help work that out for you?"

Note: We've talked maybe three times in the last two months.

Me: "You're a real pal. Too bad I'm working tonight."

Note: I meant that totally sarcastically. A few months ago we had a lengthy e-mail exchange in which he expressed amorous desires; he then expressed his shock that I'm not interested in hooking up with him now that neither of us are dating anyone. I made my lack of interest very clear.

Him: "So if not for work, you'd be interested?"

Note: He's very persistent.

Me: "Afraid not. We could grab dinner sometime though."

Note: I shouldn't use expressions like "Afraid not." That's my attempt at not being harsh since he got offended when I expressed my disinterest the last time this subject came up.

Him: "My offer was of course strictly plutonic [sic]...there is nothing wrong with a little friendly back rub...."

Me: "How kind of you to worry about me but all is well here."

Yet another time that texting is less awkward than a phone call. Of course, I doubt he'd call up and set himself up for rejection (although he honestly cannot comprehend my disinterest). Texting is easier.

Happy (almost) Friday!! It's going to be an awesome weekend (even if I do have to work).

17 comments:

brandy said...

I do that too- use expressions like 'afraid not' or 'too bad I have plans' to try and 'lessen the letdown'. I think I'm being nice but apparently (according to my male friends), I just make worse. Although, according to them, I should say 'F-off you bastard and take 5 steps back'. I haven't quite got there yet.

PeeJ said...

As I said on Meg's blog, Texting is so the wimp's way out...!

My way of dealing with this sort of stuff is to send completely random quotes, nonsense verses and garbled stuff back. Eventually people give up with the texting and phone you up to ask what the hell's going on. Strike one for the home team!

Oh and LOL at Plutonic. Is that like plutonium only more so?

Peej
x

Aaron said...

I know you said you were going to blog our conversation yesterday... but I thought you were kidding! :(

allbilly said...

So that is his attempt at a "sneeky" booty text. Nice game there playah, go ahead and have a seat at the end of the bench.

Clearlykels said...

He was trying to play the game and you won! Good show!

Jeff Price said...

Text him this link: Play Me
I think it says it all :-)

Trixie said...

did he really think you'd still be interested.

and his little sneaky text are not going to work and honestly lame.

have a great weekend, ally!

Ella said...

He is solame! A booty text? I'm glad you dumped his lame ass!

angel, jr. said...

Horrible that he would think it would be cool to just hook-up. I don't get the whole after dating spontaneous sex thing (although it would be technically cool to do). And don't people get it when you one person says "NO" in more than one polite way?

e.b. said...

The beauty of the text is you don't have to respond. Sends a good signal.

icadle said...

Him: "Can I come over and have sex?"

You: "No"

Would have save at least a dollar in txting for the both of you.

Flat Coke and Flies said...

I have to work at the hospital Saturday for 4 hours (overtime) plus I'm on call the next 3 days.

Texting is so much easier when it comes to rejection.

Ally said...

Brandy: Me neither (obviously).

Peej: Yeah, whatever "plutonic" is, I don't want any:) The random/quote response is a great idea.

Aaron: Well....

Allbilly: I thought it was sort of a "gay" attempt. He may lose his spot even on the bench:)

clearkels: Thanks!

Jeff: I love Radiohead! Good idea.

Trixie: Lame is a good adjective to describe these texts.

Ella: Agreed!

Angel, Jr.: I understand the desire to want to hook up with an ex, but I do not understand (like you said) someone who is so pitiful and desperate about it after I've already told him that I have no interest.

e.b.: Excellent point.

Ivy: Well we all know how dumb I am....he probably thought I'd fall for the "I'm your buddy and want to help you out with stress" line.

FC&F: Yeah, I've had a long week too....I worked two 15 hour days this week and am working all weekend....

brookem said...

Sorry I'm late responding. "Plutonic"... wow. I think you handled it extremely well girl!

D' Tello said...

PLease clarify which "ex boyfriend" this was. You're giving some of us a bad name. If this were me, the conversation would've gone something like this

Me: "Want me to come over and have some sex?"

You : "Not interested in having sex"

Me : " Well, would you mind lying down while I do?"

Kidding Ally, hope you are doing well.

Ally said...

Dearest Donatello,

Nice work. The line "ex who lives nearby" exempts you from consideration since you live over 3,000 miles away, making a booty text pretty unlikely (and expensive).

Best regards,

Donk

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