Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Match Date #1

This wasn't actually my very first Match date since I did a free trial (or three) over the last few years. I even developed a dating scale for ease of reference in January of 2007.

While I'm not sure where to rank this date on my handy scale, it was certainly not painful. We met at a Greek restaurant I had never tried. "Brent" was dressed well and looked like his photographs. Conversation was fairly easy--not terribly engaging or interesting--but not boring or awkward. He shared about his family, his church, and two of his past relationships. Our waiter was rushing us, so after we finished eating we walked to Starbucks next door and chatted for another hour or so.

I left the date not caring if I ever hear from Brent again. But since I didn't have a bad time (and since I'm a dork I really enjoyed our free will v. Calvinism discussion), and he's a perfectly nice guy...but then throw in the distance factor (he lives 1 and 1/2 hours away)...I wonder if I should give it another date. He wrote me that same night, thanking me for meeting him (as he knows my time is valuable:) and saying that he hopes he has the privilege of my company again sometime. There's some part of me that feels guilty about the idea of him driving 3 hours (round-trip) for another date, especially since I wouldn't want to plan some super long date but would just want to do dinner again. And honestly my interest level isn't to where I'd drive to see him. But maybe since I'm the girl I shouldn't worry about all of that. Thoughts?

p.s. I'm grateful that I finally had a reason to use the cupcake courier my mom gave me for Christmas. And check out the rainbow cupcakes (to match the birthday girl's multi-colored windsuit)....I split the batter into bowls, added food coloring, and then added a spoonful of each colored batter to each cupcake liner. I'm out of red food coloring, so I want to do it again when I can have pink/red/purple too.


ella said...

Brent is a nice southern boy. Let him do the courting, even if it means driving 3 hours round trip. You are worth it!

W T G said...

I say roll with the flow. Don't over-think this and if he wants to drive the distnace to see you then why argue? Be choosey but keep it simple too .... Cheers

Thomas said...

I would say give him another chance. About three years ago, I went on a date with someone. I was nervous. My conversation was uninteresting. But I liked the girl. I knew I was blowing it, which made me more nervous. She emailed me and said she had a nice time but that was it. Trying to salvage a bad situation, I said, "Let's just hang out as friends." She said sure.

The second time we hung out, there was no pressure on me. I was back to my normal self. I realized that this girl was even more interesting than I thought and she realized that I was okay myself.

We have been dating for 2 years now. Give the guy a chance.

Bone said...

I generally would give it until the second date, unless the first was really horrible. Just because of the nervousness and awkwardness of a first meeting.

Of course, the bit of distance adds another aspect to it here. But it's really not that far. Don't feel guilty.

If you still really don't see it going anywhere after the second date, just be up front about it.

In other news, you really believe in cupcake torture don't you? :)

Ys said...

the cakes look wonderful :)

I say trust your heart and your gut: they'll usually tell you what you should do. If you're not that into him then don't bother but if you think, even a little, that there's a chance then I say give it another go :)

Anonymous said...

Love the cup cakes!

Good luck with your dates. If you feel like going out with him, go for it! You never know what may happen!

Ally said...

Notyourplainjane: I just feel really indifferent....and the cupcakes were yummy, especially after skating made me hungry.

Ys: I guess some part of me always thinks there's a chance....

Bone: Torture?! Surely not. I used to have a two date rule for that very reason.

Thomas: Ha. Thanks for sharing your story. I think I'll write the guy back, and if he is interested enough to come here again then we'll have a second date.

WTG: Excellent point. I do tend to overthink things.

Ella: Thanks! Now you need to spend the 3-4 hours in a plane to come see me.....

Anonymous said...

I'm the one who wrote before about meeting my husband online. (I probably should sign up for a Blogger account.} Anyway, my husband and I lived about 1.5 hours apart when we met. His sons where teenagers at the time, and they stayed with him every weekend. He drove to see me during the week, and I often would drive to see him on the weekends. He once drove through a blizzard to come see me! And then proceeded to shovel out my driveway. :-) Anyway, I echo the comments from others. I'd give him one more chance. People are always nervous on first dates. He sounds like a really nice guy.

Mamacita said...

I'm mostly focused on the cupcakes...And who knows about the date thing.

cat_chaser said...

Ha, the free will v. Calvinism debate.. and the winner is Open Theism!

Why would God deliberately create beings, make them do bad things and punish them for forever? I just cannot fathom.

Scotty said...

Let him drive. If he wants to spend time with you he'll do it.

Of course, this coming from the person that has never dated anyone within an hour and a half.

OK Chick said...

I agree with Scotty...let him drive. I guess you could always meet him half way, if you feel that guilty?

It sounds like the date went good. I mean, he turned out to be normal, and that's always a plus.

The cupcakes look great. I've never had rainbow cupcakes, and I think I'm missing out.