Wednesday, August 16, 2006

I'm a Freak Magnet

Not when it comes to friends, but romantically speaking, I attract freaks. I had forgotten about this until today. So I'm having a super day and return from a mediation at 3:30. I check my work voicemail, and it shows that I have a four minute message. I figure it's this partner I've been working a lot with, but au contraire it's a song. Yes, a song is playing in its entirety on my work voicemail. And no, not a fun, I hope you're having a happy day kind of song. It's a sad sounding country song called "It's Getting Better All the Time." The song basically says that the singer is slowly getting over a love interest and that he hopes she is happy, noting that "I just might get over you, you can't ever tell."

And that's it. There's nothing else-no message or voice (except right before the song comes on a radio announcer says "Number One Country WDES (or WBES) 99" or something like that). This, in my opinion, is really CREEPY.

Note: if you did this as a joke on me, please let me know. I won't be mad; I'll be relieved!

Unfortunately we don't have caller ID here, which is probably why this person left me a message at work rather than on my voicemail. My secretary said a younger guy had called at least twice today asking for me, so who knows? But I think it's especially sorry to bother someone at work with stuff like this.

This reminds me a little bit of the time a guy I had algebra with sent me roses on my 14th birthday. He was at least 16 years old, and I only knew him because I walked up to the high school for that one class. When I had my wisdom teeth surgery he was kind enough to call me with our assignments. We would talk for a while, but it was always friendly. Then he asked me to go to the movies several times, and I always said no. So on my birthday about a month after the school year ended, out of nowhere, I get a floral delivery at home. I open up the card, and it says "With love, Russell." I thought my best friend Nicole was playing a joke on me, so I called her out on it but she adamantly denied it. So then I was kind of forced to call him for the first time in months to thank him, when really I hated it that he had invaded "my day" with such a weird gesture and I was put in such an uncomfortable position. Maybe some people would contend that it was good that he got his feelings out there, but surely he had to know that if I wouldn't go see a movie with him then surely his feelings were not even remotely reciprocated. Before I could call him to politely thank him, Russel called (and interrupted my consumption of some McDonald's chicken Mcnuggets, before they were all white meat, if I recall correctly) to say that "I love you. I love everything about you. I love the way you look; the way you talk too much sometimes, etc."

Well in his defense, I do talk too much, and I'm glad someone can love me for it AND he was 16. BUT whoever left this lame song on my voicemail is probably at least in his (or her) mid-twenties and has no excuse! No one ever calls me at work, and I never give out my work number. The number, however, is easily accessed on the internet, and it makes me wonder if that married ex-boyfriend is still obsessing over me. Ok, sorry for the rambling post, but I needed to vent. I'll edit it later!


spam_price said...

Having been a freak myself in a previous life and knowing that I’ve made girls feel uncomfortable with my romantic advances; it’s interesting to see it from this perspective. I think your statement, “but surely he had to know that if I wouldn't go see a movie with him then surely his feelings were not even remotely reciprocated” gives us freaks or former freaks too much credit. We pursue, we fail, we pursue again….it’s a vicious cycle. Unfortunately, persistence has been known to pay off occasionally – just ask my wife.

I think there is some breakdown in the brain that just turns off the whole, “is this appropriate or not” and all we hear is, “just put your heart out there and she’ll respond”. Obviously, this isn’t always the case or I would have gotten married at like 17 lol So on behalf of the freaks and former freaks….I’m sorry you have to endure our hopeless advances at what we believe is romanticisms. And for your own peace of mind, I hope you discover who left the creepy voicemail.

kimberly said...

I have had someone actually SING a song to me over the phone before. Awkward!!! Also one time when I was working in HR at a manufacturing plant I got a massive Valentine's card that took up my whole entire desk from this guy, but he would never talk to me. Everybody else in the whole plant would tell me he liked me, but he was too shy or something. It was kind of endearing. There's a creepy guy at the homeless shelter who is always asking me what my boyfriend or my husband thinks about me being there at night. I just say that both of them are fine with it. :)

spam_price said... are either cheating on your husband that I didn't know you had OR you are lying to a homeless guy....what gives?!?!? lol

Ally said...

Kimberly thanks for sharing those stories; they made me laugh out loud, which I love.

Jeff, as for "freaks," I guess you're right about the breakdown in the brain--because if someone really cared about you, they wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable and wouldn't be so selfish. I guess it's just really different because as a woman, I have rarely pursued anyone initially, so this kind of stuff hasn't been in my realm of possible actions. I did almost write a letter to a crush (who was eight years older to my 18), but I ended up chickening out. Six years later he asked me out (with no pursuit on my part), and it turns out he wasn't at all someone I should have been interested in--total player. Funny how things work out.

Anonymous said...

I happen to be very familiar with maggot freaks. I also edit blogs at your site from time to time and saw where a spam price and sent you a couple of replies but you accidently got him confused with someone named Jeff. Could it be that the mysterious perpetrator is someone with that name or at least a name with only four letters etc. I believe there is some connection if you think very very hard. Dr. RJJ

spam_price said...

Something tells me that Dr. RJJ's real name isn't anonymous....but I could be wrong?! lol

Jeff (spam_)Price

spam_price said...

PS - glad you found out about the player when you were older and wiser and not when he could have taken advantage of your crush!

Anonymous said...

I don't know what RJJ is suggesting, but I hope you don't think this was me, Ally(although I love B & D- I would've played "Red Dirt Road", "I Beleive", or "Neon Moon") If it makes you feel any better, I had a girl ask me at a bar the other night if "we were going to make out later on", to which I said "Ummmm No" as I walked away and proceded to get the chills(she didnt get the subtle hint). I thought that I might further dissuade her by borrowing some Skoal from one of my baseball buddies, and placing it in my lip in front of her. Did that work? Nope, she joined me in the tobacco consumption. Gross... You're not alone in attracting freaks!


Ally said...

Dearest Donatello,

I happen to think you attract some really amazing women. And I also think that Dr. RJJ was suggesting someone else. With Dr. RJJ's psychological training, he was easily able to exclude you from the list of possible suspects (despite your preference for depressing country songs). Unfortunately Bellsouth will not give me the phone numbers that called the firm yesterday around the time of this message without a subpoena, so I guess I'll never have confirmation as to who made this call but my money is on "my soulmate," the crazy married ex.

So did you make out with the girl or what? You can't just leave us hanging like that.

Jordan said...

Freak magnet here too as you read from my blog! I think I have something on my forehead that only they can see and respond to.

Aaron said...

So what constitutes a freak? Really?

A few weeks ago, I sent a poem to a girl I was interested in dating. Would she label me as a freak because I wrote her a poem?