Tuesday, November 21, 2006

My "McDate"

My date to the wedding was Ozzy (his chosen blog name, which I do not think suits him at all), who I find very adorable. Sometimes my friendship with Ozzy reminds me a little bit of Will & Grace, except that instead of being gay, Ozzy is Jewish.

Ozzy and I became acquainted in property class during our first year of law school. On our first day of class, the property professor called on me after humiliating the first person he called on—a guy who didn’t know the answer. Yikes. Fortunately I spoke with absolute conviction (even though I probably didn’t know the answer either) and survived. That caught the professor’s interest, and he called on my constantly throughout the rest of the semester, which meant that everyone knew my name early on. I guess that is how Ozzy got to know me. My first memory of Ozzy was at a party at which he expressed admiration of my ambition (Ozzy thoroughly understands that flattery will get you almost anywhere). I thought that was odd and explained how non-career driven I was (citing my haphazard career path which included a nanny gig and teaching elementary school). He was surprised.

Despite the fact that my friends told Ozzy that I had a boyfriend (of almost a year) when he inquired about me, Ozzy called and in his sweet Southern drawl, asked me to go to the fair with him. The fair is, I must note, a great idea for a first date. I declined with a little bit of regret—simply because I thought going to the fair with Ozzy would be fun (and he’s cute).

Fast forward three years later to a friend’s party where I exchanged numbers with Ozzy so that he could meet up with us later that night. He never did, but he did occasionally drunk dial me over the next two years. Ozzy has attempted to set me up with his friends, but his efforts are unfortunately always off the mark (i.e., a guy who wears his shirt halfway unbuttoned with lots of jewelry). Some of my friends contend that these mismatches are intentional, so that I’ll realize what a great catch Ozzy is.

I tend to disagree with those friends. Ozzy is a consummate flirt, often saying very kind and flattering things and doing super sweet things for me, but our friendship is just that. We’ve never even kissed despite spending weekends together. Ozzy understands how important my faith is to me and that I’d never date a guy who isn’t a Christian. Plus his current type is super skinny, high-maintenance, and much less conservative (or arguably more fun) than me. So that’s that.

I feel very blessed to have such a cool friend. He’s a lot like a girl in some respects, so he is excellent at communicating (like when I hurt his feelings), dramatic (which keeps me entertained), very intelligent (which challenges me), and way too relative (which annoys me). It’s funny how God brings people into your life at certain times and how there is a season for so many different people and experiences. It’s also funny that Ozzy has a crush on Paris Hilton.


Ella said...

Hmmm...the perpetual Jewish/Christian conundrum. Tim is Jewish, albeit a non-practicing one. My good friend from church is also dating a Jewish man and really struggling with it. After dating a few weird Christian guys, I've decided that I'd rather be happy than limit myself. To me it's similar to not dating someone because of his or her race.

That being said, Tim is coming to Christmas service with me. I ‘m Presbyterian so it will be relatively painless.

Sounds like Ozzy still has crush on you!

Flat Coke and Flies said...

I agree with Ella. I cannot limit myself to a religion when dating. God changes people...but I also understand the struggle about being unequally yoked. (is there another letter in that word??)

I think Ozzy likes you lots!!!

Glad you've got a good friend even if it stays that way.

Happy Thanksgiving dear!!

Anonymous said...

Thank God I'm not exciting enough to blog about. I don't think I could handle being thought of as one of the girls. Poor "Ozzy".

Ally said...

Ella: I guess that most of the time dating within my faith doesn’t feel like a burden to me. I try to seek God’s will in all of my decisions (although I often fail to do the best job of that) and believe that the first place I should look for answers is the Bible. I believe the Bible makes it clear that I shouldn’t marry a non-believer; thus I wouldn’t date someone who doesn’t believe. And when I look at the Biblical requirements for a Godly husband, I think it would be hard for a non-believer to meet them or even strive to meet them.

And as a practical matter, I think marriage will be hard enough without being of different religions. But I’m sure there are interfaith marriages that succeed; it’s just not something I’m willing to pursue. I also don’t think a non-believer or non-practicing believer could ever really understand me and know me like a believer can simply because of the fact that I strive to make God my number one priority and seek His will in all that I do. Does that make sense? I want to be with someone who spiritually challenges and encourages me, will attend church with me, and can try to love me as Christ does (no small feat). And yes, it’s a long list, but thus far God has blessed me with patience:) I'm still kind of a baby Christian, so I'm definitely still reading scripture and seeking understanding on all of these issues.

I’m glad Tim and you already have Christmas plans to attend services together; that’s great. And I just got a call from a friend/lurker who proclaimed that Ozzy had ulterior motives (and that's a polite way of putting it). Anyway....

FC&F: When I was attending church and trying to figure out what I believed, my boyfriend expressed concern that we were not “equally yoked.” I’d never heard that before, and it kind of stung to have someone say that (even if it was true). Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to you too!

Aaron: Ozzy is definitely not one of the girls. He has just enough "girl" in him though for girls to find him incredibly endearing, which often works to his "playa" advanatage, I think.

Anonymous said...

Ella: I don't doubt that things aren't hunky-dory with Tim now, but you aren't concerned that a difference in religion might not cause trouble in the future? If he did begin to observe his faith, would you be willing to convert? What about differences in holidays? How to raise children? etc.

ella w. said...

Anonymous: He's never been a practicing Jew - never had a Bar Mitzvah and doesn't observe any Jewish holidays. In fact we joke that I'm more Jewish than he is since I have been a Skiska more than once. I don't mind exposing our children to both faiths, though I consider Judaism more of a culture. As long as Tim is accepting of my religion I'm okay with that. He's mostly dated Catholic girls, so he gets it. It's never been an issue with him, but that is not to say it won't ever be.

Ally: I know the Bible says we must be equally yoked, and believe me I have been getting some shit from some members of my Bible Study, but I like to point out that Jews are the chosen people. I do understand that there is a deeper connection when you share the same faith, but when my mother married my father he was not religious by any means. Now he is a Deacon at their church. As fcf pointed out - God does change people.

On that note, Happy Thanksgiving!

Anonymous said...

Allison, your blog has been unobtainable for the last couple of days. I know of your dad and you have things sorta backward. I think he grew up in a church environment. Just curious, but do you know of any Protestant/Jewish marriages and the results, especially when the Jewish individual is "non-pratising". I am also sure that there have been some successful situations but often times the problems arise when they have children with pressure from the extended jewish family. Dr. Rjj

icadle said...

how's the turkey?

cdp said...

Thank God!I haven't been able to read your blog for like a week and it has been driving me nutters.

I still remember the first time I got called on in law school. I totally kicked ass; and after I was finished one of my friends looked at me in amazement and said, "Dude, that was awesome. You sounded like . . . like, I mean, a lawyer." It was a great day.

The Jewish/Christian question is an interesting one. As others have mentioned, I don't like to place pre-imposed limits on myself in any regard. However, when something is important to me and is of enough personal significance in my life that I've for whatever reason placed some limit on or drawn some line for myself, I believe it an exercise of conviction and self-respect to maintain it. My $.02.

Ally said...

Cindy: Blogger (essentially) forced me to switch to Beta Blogger! In other words, I could not access my blog until I switched. I always appreciate your two cents. I think it's odd though that believers/commenters think of Biblical commands (perhaps not the best word) as setting some kind of negative "limits." Is that because so many of the other Biblical "limits" (like the ten commandments) line up with our moral beliefs and don't require as much sacrifice? Or is it because we just like to pick and choose which parts of the Bible we want to subscribe to? I tend to think it's a combination of both (in part based on my own disobedience). Some commands (like not killing others) are just so much easier to abide by.

Ivy: The turkey (and pumpkin pie) was delicious! I love Thanksgiving food. Glad to hear yours was good too.

Anonymous: Yes, not being able to access the blog has been annoying. Hopefully it's "fixed." Not sure what the reference to my father is about, but I am indeed well aware of situations in which the extended family made it very difficult to even celebrate (even in a superficial way) Christmas or Easter or Thanksgiving (if it included ham:)

Ella: How wonderful that you have a Bible study group that is willing to share their concerns with you--especially as non-confrontational and as uninvolved as people tend to want to be. I hope that you guys have been able to have productive conversations as I know personal things can be touchy, although I always appreciate it when people care enough to question and challenge me. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving too!

Nathan said...

That was lesson #1 in Marshall's class. He didn't know crap, so as long as you acted like you did then he wouldn't challenge you. That's why his questions never made any sense. Why do you think it took him so long to grade the exams?

Ally said...

Nathan: I thought it took Marshall so long because he was awed by the perfection of my exam. Am I wrong? And you're kind of right about his questions not always being on target. I had to go explain to him that he had been teaching future interest/rule of perpetuity wrong (for two days)! After that he changed his tune, but still--that's kind of ridiculous.