Which sort of leads into what I feel like is missing in the three guys I've met--they've just not been particularly engaging, charismatic, and/or animated. There hasn't been that sort of initial connection that results in a three hour conversation, I guess. I just realized the other day that because I tend to get wound up about things, sometimes I think more staid individuals make me feel a bit like a clown. Sometimes they just don't know what to do with me (or perhaps are annoyed). It was sort of that way with Carter, which I didn't realize for several months. Last spring my boss asked if Carter appreciated how different I was from most girls and my quirkiness. I realized I didn't know, so I asked Carter and his response was that he wasn't sure yet and that it bothered him that he couldn't "read" me more easily.
Oh, I almost forgot. I have a real life date tonight. Or I'd rather call it a neighborly outing. My cute neighbor (who I've never seen in our actual building) asked me out for drinks weeks ago, and we're just now coordinating for tonight....dinner and a party at his friend's house, which feels a bit risky given the amount of time it could eat up... but I figure it'd be good to meet some different people in Chatty.
Check out what I've deemed my Easter tee shirt...who needs an Easter dress? (Just for you Ella:)
I just saw this lovely bumper sticker:
And now I'm off to a Good Friday service with friends. Hope your Friday is good too.
p.s. I'm thankful for Zyrtec D...it's helping a little.
15 comments:
At least Match #3 wasn't a bad evening. It sounds like a nice evening. It sounds like you might have met a new friend.
"...it bothered him that he couldn't "read" me more easily." I get the same response for guys. Yea for girls that are hard to read! :)
Yay for a good evening. BIG YAY for tonight. Sounds like it could be fun times! Keep us posted! Happy Easter, friend!!! I like the tee!!
In case you didn't know this, I am quite quirky. Last night at our church Maundy thurs service, my 3 year old said, "why can't I eat that bread?" and I whispered b/c you have to tell the elders that you love Jesus...screaming it at the top of your lungs! His look was priceless and I nearly choked from cracking myself up! Well, all that is to say that I have a guy who can both recognize and appreciate that -ness about me and I believe there's one out there for you too. One who will say, "I love the way you crack yourself up." That's one of the first things my guy noticed about me. So hang in there...here's praying for Ally an organic, fun, 3 hour long conversation that you can't help smiing over for days...
Ok Chick: It's funny b/c I like people who surprise me. Glad you're unpredictable too.
B: Thanks! I've worn it 3 out of the last 4 days.
Mamacita: That's a wonderful prayer. Thank you! And your quirkiness makes me want to meet you even more :)
Reasoning and abstracting out can be fun and fine but may not necessarily make one better read/understanding the other in a relationship even if they both they came to the same conclusion. Its sorta like both finishing a race. Its how they relate that conclusion.. my 2 cents.
Hm I might be wrong but it might be cos you're only picking guys who are very similar to you. You sound as though you need a guy who thinks differently to you so that you can have a bit of a debate. Just a thought...
I hope the "real" (;D) date goes well :)
Ys: Yes, I'd like to date someone who makes my world bigger, which might be easier if the guy isn't so similar to me. I guess I see advantages both ways.
Cat_chaser: I'm not sure that I'm following. Care to explain?
Ally,
What I meant to say was putting on a thinking hat and arriving at some abstract theoretical fact can be exciting. But cultivating a heart over mind attitude and relating/acting on the drawn abstraction in a context makes the relationship more dynamic and understanding.
Hope this helps if not, shoot me another question.
ha! @ bumper sticker.
CC: I'm still having a hard time following. Do you mean that being able to read someone and figuring them out so to speak is one thing but implementing what you've learned in the relationship is another?
Ha, I like that you differentiate between match dates and real life dates. But I think I'm starting to lose track already :)
Have you ever blogged the story of the date that got a zero rating?
Oh, cute shirt.
Bone: Understandable. I think half the reason I blog the dates is so I'll remember :) Back in 2006 I blogged a few bad dates, including the worst. Here's the link:
http://chubbyoldgroundhog.blogspot.com/2006/07/dating-mishaps.html
My brother used to rate the women he dated. I guess if it works for you, great. But personally I find it rather restrictive. My brother is still single after divorcing about 10 years ago. I think maybe he's destined to be single. He's very idealistic.
Ah, thanks. I enjoyed reading about scarf guy. Oh, and the professor. Wow.
Ally,
What I previously said is surely difficult to understand without a context, sorry about that. The following example ( context of relationship, rationalization and reading) should help you.
I am in relationship with a woman, B. I like doing things with B, rationalize with her, believe many facts about her (eg. fact1: B is beautiful). I strongly believe fact1.
However, my mere abstract belief in fact1 itself will not relate me to B nor create any affection due to intellectualization of the fact1.
This model of abstract belief and over intellectualization i'm operating in, overtime would lead me into a relationship devoid of emotions with B.( hard to "read" state)
But if I act on fact1 ( lessen the rationalization and focus on emotions) probably stir affections and change the dynamics of the relationship towards a better understanding of B (perhaps help me able to read B ).
I guess to effectively "read", one may need to have a knowledge of someones actions, conversations, beliefs and behavioral understanding etc., probably more variables involved.
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