I'm halfheartedly watching the stupid show called The Bachelor, and Lisa's timeline and dedication to it reminded me of an issue that has come up a good bit lately. A woman I met recently told me about she was having a hard time because her siblings were married and one of her good friends had recently entered into a relationship. Another person told me about how bittersweet weddings are for her because she isn't married. A law school friend showed me her china patterns even though she wasn't dating anyone and lamented that she would never meet the One (she was 25 at the time).
Even though I'm from a town where the average age for a first marriage is probably 19, I always thought I'd be 30 when I got married. And both of my sisters have been married for years and have children, but their marriages, if anything, have made me glad to be single (in part because marriage is such hard work). I realize that I have the rest of my life to be married, but I can't ever be single again once I'm married. Plus I am grateful for the experience of being an aunt as a single person as I'm sure it's completely different than it would be if I already had children or even a husband; meaning that I've been able to devote so much more time and energy to that relationship than I would have been able to otherwise. Don't get me wrong though--there have definitely been times (when I was in a relationship) that I thought being married would be great fun and longed for it, but when I'm not in relationships I generally appreciate all of the freedom that comes with singleness--like the girl time this last weekend in the mountains or deciding tonight to go to the Auburn game this weekend.
But I wonder if my tune will change if I'm still single in six years. I hope not, but it definitely seems like so many people who are older and have never been married can't find as much joy in their friends and family members' romantic relationships, engagements, and marriages as others. With that being said, I'm not slamming those people who have that bittersweet feeling at every wedding (and are crying for a reason altogether different than joy). It's hard when your plan doesn't match up with God's plan for your life. And people can ask the most ridiculous questions--for example, a secretary at work once told me that I was smart and pretty, so "why are you still single?" I told her I had herpes, and she shut up really quickly. Ok, just kidding about the herpes. But I definitely felt like giving an asinine answer to her thoughtless query. The best was when I was about 22 and someone asked me when I was going to have a baby. Seriously.
Weekend before last my sister and I were discussing this issue, and evidently someone had recently asked her why I still wasn't married. My sister thinks I'm waaaaaaaaaay too picky. For example, my friend Ozzy recently wanted to set me up with his friend. Trying to get a feel for the guy beyond Ozzy's desciption of "nice," I (randomly) asked how many times a month the guy got drunk. Ozzy responded that "He's kind of like Nick Lachey on Newlyweds. He's always drinking a beer, but he never really gets drunk. He drinks every day but never more than 5 or 6." Great. I told him that I had zero interest in dating anyone who drank every single day; someone smelling like beer on a daily basis is very unattractive to me. My sister considered that as being way too picky. She asked me what I was looking for in a potential husband, and upon hearing my list, she promptly told me that I was never going to get married. Oh well, so be it if asking for a Christian (and not just on Sundays:), attractive (not objectively hot just attractive to me), non-daily drinking or smoking, intellectual, fit, and fun guy is too much to ask for....
On an unrelated note, here's some pics from my recent venture to the fair. Much to my guy friends' consternation, most of these girls are very happily married. Check out my John Deer belt buckle.